Shen Jia Yi

Yesterday, I watched a film by Jiu Ba Dao - Apple of My Eye (那些年 我們一起追的女孩). There was this scene, which I was thought was very poignant. 

The setting is as follows. Shen Jia Yi (the female lead) had just broke up with Ke Teng (the male lead). Another guy ("the fat dude"), who had been pining over Shen Jia Yi from the start, capitalized on Ke Teng's misfortune. He wrangled his way to become Shen Jia Yi's new beau. But his success was short-lived, she broke up with him after 5 months.

The scene which particularly struck me was when Shen Jia Yi and the fat dude was in the cafe. The fat dude was pointing out what career path she should take; what are the requisite certifications she should gun for; what are the good universities to go to. Clearly, he had his eye on their future. He had her best interests at heart, I guess. Being a goody-two-shoes and a matured individual, that was his way of loving her, perhaps the only way he'll ever know. Life to him is one unerring plan, one unchanging road map, charted unambiguously from point to point. But while he was droning on and on, Shen Jia Yi gaze was fixated on something outside the window. Her heart was elsewhere.She wanted an adventure, not some perfectly laid out grand plan. Her future was not with him.

It scares me to think that that the character portrayed by the fat dude, one so detestable to watch, might actually live inside of me.

请不要偷看我

来不及防备的眼神