A Proud Moment in NUS (Academia)

There are many a happy moment when one feels an intense sense of self satisfaction. Sometimes it flows like a cascading waterfall, filling up every void in the soul. Other times, it ignites like a roaring inferno, lighting up every corner in the heart. Rockclimbing wise, my proudest moment would be sending Asian Shadow Play in Krabi, Thailand. I recall being so intimidated by the route initially and even gave up after only a few attempts because I couldn't bear the pain. And crimps were supposed to be my forte! When I clipped the chains, it wasn't wild exuberance or crazy celebrations, it was quiet relief. I could finally move on.

The purpose of this post however, is not to talk rockclimbing. As much as I love the sport, I want to explore other facets of life. It would be my greatest regret if 30 years down the road, I find myself living the sad existence of a one-dimensional man. Here, I want to talk about my proudest moments academia wise. Singaporean climbers mostly don't like to talk about studies. The general sentiment is that good climbing grades and good studying grades are mutually exclusive. The belief is not unwarranted, given how most of our strongest climbers aren't academically inclined. Win some, lose some.. I guess.

I too, intensely dislike the rote learning that is typical of our education system. However, I am a prisoner of circumstances. Like it or not, given how many applications are sent in, employers resort to using grades as the first screen. If my grades do not meet the cut, I can't even get one foot through the door. Grades are also often a major determinant of one's starting pay, rate of promotion and maximum attainable position. This is especially true for the public sector. The consequences are only too clear to me. Therefore, I choose to lead a wretched existence now, fighting tooth and nail for every point in order to try for respectable grades. By doing so, I hope my path will be more smoothly paved for the future. Don't blame the player, blame the game.

The results for this semester were released recently. I scored my highest SAP (Semestral Average Point) ever and managed to pull my CAP (Cumulative Average Point) up by 0.07, which is a miracle in itself given how I'm already into my 7th semester (there are 8 semesters altogether). Having suffered 6 semesters of it languishing just below 4, it feels like I've been hanging off the edge of the cliff by two fingers for the longest time. I crept nearer and nearer, 3.93, 3.98, 3.99.. but NEVER 4! It was so frustrating! As just my endurance is failing, I somehow managed to mantle my ass up over the edge. But please don't be mistaken, it is not my intention to brag about a superficial thing like grades.

While I'm delighted at the score, I'm more satisfied at the effort and sacrifice that went into attaining it. Previously, I wrote about my internship stint - the difficulties in adjusting and the trials faced at getting up to speed. My ex-gf broke up with me in the midst of all that, making an already tough period even more trying. It happened on a Thursday night. I barely slept the night at all and woke up on Friday with bloodshot eyes and a sallow complexion. Painfully aware that taking an MC would potentially jeopardize the supervisor assessment component, I dragged my broken self to work. "I'll have time to pick up the pieces", I thought. Boy was I in for a rude surprise. The moment I sat down at my desk, the nasty supervisor (I have 2 supervisors) dumped a huge stack of work on my table. "Get it done by today", she intoned smugly. 

Tears welled up inside my eyes. I blinked it away. That Friday, I worked overtime to clear the work. That Friday, a part of me died inside. That Friday, I will remember for a long time to come. But no matter. I do what is necessary. Crying solves nothing.

I was elated to learn that eventually, the nice supervisor got hold of the grading script. I think she marked me generously. That I scored the creme de la creme grade, an A+ (a first for me!), is just the icing on the cake. I'm just glad that my efforts paid off.