Natalija Gros in Histerija 8C+

Natalija Gros from Jure Breceljnik on Vimeo.

watched this video some time back before. but watching it again still evokes the same sense of tranquility. of power tempered with courtesy. of stoic calm.

posted this up here for my easy reference.

more climbaprix thoughts

people keep coming up to me to congratulate me for getting 2nd. but deep down inside, i'm not truly happy. they do not truly understand. yes i am content. but i am not happy. not satisfied. of course i know that we should take pleasure in all the little things in life that pops up in our path. but take pleasure in all the little things to the extent that we do not forge ahead? i could write an entire essay on this topic.. but not here.. sometimes i really envy those carefree people, who take delight in the little things that make them happy. but i am not like that.

the mental image of myself losing concentration and then falling off the easy part keeps haunting me. it flashes across my mind before i go to bed. it's like a fuzzy video put on permanent replay in my brain. it is a bitter reminder to myself that all the training is useless if i cannot channel it into that one moment. i am going to translate all this angst into harder and tougher training.

i would like to end off with a little disclaimer. of course i know that climbing is not all about competitions. i love the great outdoors too. you should see how much fun i have going for the onsight on routes. the many a happy hour doing hard routes beyond my ability and then finally surmounting them. for beginners, i advocate having so much fun at the sport that you forget the time. revel in the company of your peers.

unfortunately, in Singapore, we do not have majestic crags/cliffs to inspire us. in Europe, the climbers there cant climb in winter. unless you are starved and deprived like john and pengyang. european climbers usually climb in spring/summer/autumn. a good analogy is imagining us having winter all year round, and only a short window period of 'summer' before school/work starts. then it's back to winter again. cold turkey. as such, the only outlet for singaporean climbers to release some steam is through competitions. i know people who dislike competitions. for them, my best advice would be perhaps to just stay away from what you do not derive pleasure from.

but i've been in this business for 6 years already. naturally, my goals are different from those who just started climbing. i WANT to do well for competitions. and competitions are a different ball game from rock. the pressure is intense. the mind games you have to content with. you have to power up in an instant without much warm up. you have to learn how to climb with pumped forearms. the best competition climbers are the ones who have excellent route reading skills and the ones who have best learned how to climb with lactic-acid flooded forearms. in my (perhaps flawed) opinion, if you want to do well for competitions, then you have to train specifically for it. unless of course, you are talented like chris sharma. and at least at this moment, i do not have the necessary credentials to support my claim. we'll see what the future holds.

time to let my dark side consume me..

climbaprix

things i didnt like about the comp:
1. lack of punctuality.
the comp was supposed to end by 8pm on saturday but dragged till 12am.
the comp was supposed to end by 4pm on sunday but dragged till 6pm plus. all that time... wasted... i dont mean to be sarcastic, but time is precious, and being part of the mugging community in nus, we really need to study. 2 days burnt. still got 2 X 30% essays to finish, and this is tutorial week, plus deadlines for 3 assignments are looming. ugh.

2. loud booming fever-inducing (at least for me) music. i understand such music is supposed to bring out the competition atmosphere, make the event more lively, etc, but too much is really bleah.

3. the whole point of a point system is to make every move equally hard, so that the competitor has to fight for each hold, and in essence, fight for the win. unfortunately for climbaprix, the routes are set in such a way that the bonus-top system would be more suitable. if they fancy crux moves where every participant falls off at the same place then they might as well revert to the bonus top system.

things i liked about this climbaprix.
1. the prizes are really quite good considering the small scale of this event. $30 cash prize and $30 prana voucher. but if i count in the registration fee, the lunch and dinner money and the negative externalities associated with the wasted time, i'm seriously in the red.

anyways although i got 2nd i must say i'm rather disappointed with my performance. i wasnt psyched when i went out on my first route and fell off an easy part. had to do the same moves a second time which pumped me out, and then fell off the last hold. wtf. all the hard training, gone to waste with just one mistake. one teeny attention lapse. i feel robbed.

i attribute my failure to my climbing style. i'm too conservative. too static. i prefer to feel very secure first before locking off for the next hold. i need to learn how to flow with the route. fast and clinical when need arises, and slow and static for the appropriate occasions. for this reason i am determined to adapt my climbing style. of course it's easy for the passer-by to say, 'jansen, it's okay you tried your best.' but my best is not good enough. not winning is as good as losing.

you must think i am a crazy/extreme person who beats myself up for no good reason. but no. i prefer to see myself as an athlete who refuses to rest on his laurels, and will do what it takes to reach the top.

shut up and train. back to more training systematic abuse of my body.

childhood memories

it is sad that some of my peers are unable to speak fluent chinese despite their ethnicity. having been rudimentary schooled in some basic linguistic studies, i realised that each language is a supreme achievement of a collective human genius. having not used chinese on a day to day basis for close to 6 years now, my command of spoken chinese has become rusty. the alarm bells went off when i couldnt converse properly with a taiwanese climber when i was in krabi. time to revisit my roots.

these songs had a soothing effect on me. reminded me of childhood days. enjoy. or not.

man on a mission

I’m sorry that I’m so stupid. I take 6 modules. I’m more stupid than most people so I make up for it by studying extra hard. I’m so stupid I have to study every single day of the week. That means not being able to do ‘normal’ people stuff.

I’m sorry that I’m so weak. I climb at such a low level. I’m weaker than most other climbers so I make up for it by training extra hard. I’m pathetic, so I have to rely on a fixed training programme to boost all that little ability that I have. I made a promise to myself, and I’ll become less of a man if I fall short.

I’m sorry that I prefer to spend my time not doing ‘normal’ people stuff. I’m stupid and I’m weak and I don’t have work-life balance.