more climbaprix thoughts

people keep coming up to me to congratulate me for getting 2nd. but deep down inside, i'm not truly happy. they do not truly understand. yes i am content. but i am not happy. not satisfied. of course i know that we should take pleasure in all the little things in life that pops up in our path. but take pleasure in all the little things to the extent that we do not forge ahead? i could write an entire essay on this topic.. but not here.. sometimes i really envy those carefree people, who take delight in the little things that make them happy. but i am not like that.

the mental image of myself losing concentration and then falling off the easy part keeps haunting me. it flashes across my mind before i go to bed. it's like a fuzzy video put on permanent replay in my brain. it is a bitter reminder to myself that all the training is useless if i cannot channel it into that one moment. i am going to translate all this angst into harder and tougher training.

i would like to end off with a little disclaimer. of course i know that climbing is not all about competitions. i love the great outdoors too. you should see how much fun i have going for the onsight on routes. the many a happy hour doing hard routes beyond my ability and then finally surmounting them. for beginners, i advocate having so much fun at the sport that you forget the time. revel in the company of your peers.

unfortunately, in Singapore, we do not have majestic crags/cliffs to inspire us. in Europe, the climbers there cant climb in winter. unless you are starved and deprived like john and pengyang. european climbers usually climb in spring/summer/autumn. a good analogy is imagining us having winter all year round, and only a short window period of 'summer' before school/work starts. then it's back to winter again. cold turkey. as such, the only outlet for singaporean climbers to release some steam is through competitions. i know people who dislike competitions. for them, my best advice would be perhaps to just stay away from what you do not derive pleasure from.

but i've been in this business for 6 years already. naturally, my goals are different from those who just started climbing. i WANT to do well for competitions. and competitions are a different ball game from rock. the pressure is intense. the mind games you have to content with. you have to power up in an instant without much warm up. you have to learn how to climb with pumped forearms. the best competition climbers are the ones who have excellent route reading skills and the ones who have best learned how to climb with lactic-acid flooded forearms. in my (perhaps flawed) opinion, if you want to do well for competitions, then you have to train specifically for it. unless of course, you are talented like chris sharma. and at least at this moment, i do not have the necessary credentials to support my claim. we'll see what the future holds.

time to let my dark side consume me..