ultimatum - no compromise

last night i had a dream
i was smiling in my dream
i was dreaming of all the good times spent together
of me whining to you
of our next rock trip
in that dream we had a quarrel
silly us
what quarrel?
everything will turn out fine
and then i started smiling again
i woke up with a start
and realised it was all a dream
and then i started tearing again

prisoner of a white god 2

close to one year's worth of relationship.. means nothing in the face of religion. those times spent getting to know each other, staying over at each other's houses, competing together and cheering each other on, going on rock trips together. all the little things i've done for her.. not to mention having to swallow my pride on one occasion after being innocently reprimanded by her mother. jansen ko, this blog hasnt done you any good at all. after months of reflections, you still cannot stand your ground when talking to an unreasonable adult? you are really so naive to think that keeping your cool and maintaining a harmonious relationship is a virtue? childish! immature! you appear to be more of a boy and less of a man! laughable!

jansen ko you are a fucking idiot. why you always get made use of? why are you the party that always ends up getting hurt? in the 2 previous relationships you had, it was always the girl who let you down. never once have you let a lady down. havent you fucking idiot heard of the 'once bitten twice shy' adage. you better stop being a wuss and start learning how to protect your heart. chivalry is dead. all hail the casanova.

you've been crying for close to 2 days now. get a hold of yourself bro! it's ok jansen. you know that deep down inside, you are a good man. you might not be more religious than certain people, but you are certainly more educated, more well-read, more sensible, and definitely more disciplined than most who align themselves to certain faiths. time will heal all wounds. you are made of sterner stuff than this. pay more attention to your first love, for she has to date rewarded your every effort.

the night she came back from putra.. i wanted to surprise her at her house.. waited for close to 30mins but she was off having supper with some other person.. after that i was so hurt.. i was so lost.. i drove around singapore aimlessly for 45 minutes.. i didnt even know where i was driving.. but she doesnt know.. she doesnt know..

do not do unto others what you do not wish to be done onto yourself. haha. hah.

prisoner of a white god

so hurt.

cried myself to sleep last night.. woke up with eyes red.

swear never to let my feelings be taken hostage by another person ever again.

2010

start of a new year! re-energised after the trip to hampi and raring to go for the upcoming competition season. funny how energy levels drop linearly throughout the course of the semester only to bounce back again after each roc trip! the hampi trip was really excellent but i guess it'll be some time before i go back to the place again. mostly because i still need to recover from the nasty aspects of indigestibleindia and also because i need to up my fitness level and technical abilities to have any chance of sending my projects at all.

my CAP did a little merry-go-round with me. results of 3.9, 3.7 and 4.1 for the 3 respective semesters spent here in NUS resulted in a back to square one circumstance. 3.9 is a bitch because it's not low enough for you to totally screw studies and enjoy the more laidback aspect of university education. 3.9 makes you want to aim for second upper honours - which means another semester of hard work (which you may well not be rewarded for). oh wells.. in the pursuit of CAP (and materialistic happiness)!

got 2nd for bouldermania (again!). that 1st place is still eluding me despite all that effort. nevertheless, this hide-and-seek makes the chase all the more fun! i know that given my continued break-me-down training methodology, that 1st place podium finish cannot continue to evade me forever! hmm i think i scare people sometimes with the intensity at which i pursue the sport, but i believe that anything worth doing is worth doing well. intensity is the price of excellence, and i'm willing to pay that price.

i'll end off with two quotes i really like from american president theodore roosevelt:
far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorius triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.

it behooves every man to remember that the work of the critic is of altogether secondary importance, and that, in the end, progress is accomplished by the man who does things.

which brings me to my 2010 competition goals.
open men finals by the end of the competition season. easily granted/accomplished.. no doubt.. for most of my competitors, but this is my goal, at least for now. towards it.. with unwavering focus..

Hampi Dec 2009

This is the entry I will be submitting to DYNO for the 'Win a LaSportiva Speedster' competition. Had loads of fun writing this entry in a narrative style anyways so it doesn't matter if I don't win the shoe.

Hampi Write Up

After months of deliberation, the time for exploration has finally arrived for five young adventurers. Weary from weeks of effort spent preparing for examinations, the five gutsy travellers were eager to break free from their shackles and unleash that youthful energy. Incredible India beckons!

Bouldering at Hampi (a Unesco World Heritage Site) was nothing short of amazing. The awe-inspiring feeling the place invokes is best explained by trekking 587 steps to the temple constructed on the top of highest hill there - Hanuman Temple. Hampi, when viewed from that height, is mind-boggling. Just imagine a full 360 degrees of boulder-strewn fields, for as far as the eye can see – truly a boulderer’s paradise. How the boulders come to be arranged in such a precocious manner across the undulating landscape defies geographical explanation. Give up your reason and succumb to your senses. Climbers have been known to make several return trips, and each time Hampi reveals yet more of her wonders. Two week of bouldering almost every other day, but we barely covered 1% of the area. This gives an inkling of its cosmic size; so vast is the locale that you feel humbled just standing amongst the boulders. Let the feeling of wonder tingle down your spine. When rays from the early morning sun envelope the land and bake the boulders in a golden-brown hue, Mother Nature reveals gigantic nuggets of gold to the observant climber. Thankfully, such treasures can only be experienced but not exploited. For the willing trekker, opportunities for first ascents are waiting just down the next corner.

The travelling climbers descended onto Hampi during the dry season in December. During the day, temperatures soar with the hot afternoon sun beating down relentlessly. But cool winds provide much welcomed relief. The best times for bouldering are in the morning and evening. Nevertheless, it is still possible to boulder the entire day if one sticks to the shaded bouldering spots.

When in Indian, do as the Indians do. Try eating with your right hand only. Try the local dishes like Masala Dosa, Idly Vada, Fried Ghee and Vegetable Manchurian. Try hoping onto an overnight sleeper train ride. But faint hearted travellers beware. The 4h budget flight and 8h off-road bus ride to Hampi was almost too much to stomach. Also, unsuspecting travellers will fall prey to the business middleman – omnipresent in all aspects of the tourist economy. A few nasty experiences will no doubt prove useful to a hardening of resolve against such touts.

The texture of the rock (granite) at Hampi is also grainy and rough. In short, do inject a dose of hard climbing before setting off, for hard skin (and finger tape) is one’s first line of defence against the rock that bites back. Baby soft skin is shredded here; only hard skin will live to climb another day.

The next section is for ladies only: Shopping! At the Hampi Bazaar, there is a myriad of stores ranging from tailors who can embellish clothes with frills and ribbons to artisans hawking pieces of intricately sewn embroidery or Indian art painted on silk with a fine brush. Such displays of opulence seduced the imagination of one of my female companions and enthralled her. She was often seen engaging in verbal jousts with tradesman eager to hawk their ware. Hone your bargaining skills before engaging in a battle of wills with the shopkeepers. Often you’ll find that the best buys are bought when you don’t want the item in the first place!

As it is with every country and every culture, adopt a beginner’s mind when travelling. Go there with no expectations and revel in the sights and sounds of India. Embrace the societal nuances of the locals and immerse yourself in their unique way of life. Travellers game for adventure, as well as a bouldering area with unmatched potential, will find that India has much to offer.

In the same way the Disney cartoon movie, Aladdin, has mesmerized children around the world to the beauty of India, Hampi has enchanted the five travellers. This brings to a mind an adage used in the movie to describe Aladdin: a diamond in the rough. Indeed, no better parallel can be drawn between the two. I can give no higher praise.

Beta for getting to Hampi

Before getting there

Take your usual vaccinations (Hep A, Hep B, Flu, Tetanus, H1N1)

Watch the Jackie Chan movie: The Myth (filmed in Hampi)

S$1 = 31-33RP

India time is 2.5h behind Singapore time.

Visa to India (get at Mustafa Air Travel at SPA Building): S$59 and 1 passport sized photo

Best time to visit: Nov – Feb. 15 degrees at night, 30 plus degrees in day

Dry season, no rain at all for the 2 weeks we were there, can climb all day

Airplane (Budget) return tix: S$440

In Bangalore

Taxi from Bangalore International Airport to Bangalore City: 1000RP

24hours lodging at KSRTC Bus Station (Yatri Lodge) for 2 ppl: 550RP

Overnight bus from Bangalore to Hampi (8h ride): 300RP

In Hampi

Boat to cross Hampi River: 15RP

Accommodation in Hampi (Goan Corner – place where most of the climbers stay): 200-450RP per night for a 2 person room

Meals: 150RP for a sumptuous meal, 15RP for 1L mineral water

Automatic motorbike to get around the area: 100RP for the bike and 70RP for 1L of petrol

Taxi from Hampi to Hospet: 500RP

2^nd class overnight sleeper train (no need aircon because the weather is already so cold) from Hospet to Bangalore: 250-400RP

Some pictures I particularly liked from the trip: