facebook mail cont.

I came to know about you through your facebook note. I'm sorry to hear about what happened between you and your ex-girlfriend, and I hope your wounds will heal.

Just a little introduction about myself: I'm XXX, and I'm a Christian who have recently began to question my own faith. I totally sympathize with your skepticism towards Christianity, and I totally understand your need to express how you feel towards the relationship and her faith. I wish I have simple answers to offer you, but unfortunately I don't.

Like you, I like to express my thoughts in writing, and I myself have received flak for blogging about my thoughts. There were times where I would question my own pastor in my blog, and of course, you can imagine the backlash. Even when I question the Bible and what it says, there are people who would accuse of of "stumbling" young believers and causing them to lose their faith.

Suffice to say, I ask many of the same questions that you do. While I have some insights to offer, that's not what I'm here to do. I'm just writing as a stranger to offer my support to you. Nobody should remove or undermine your right to question, and if you ask me, I'd take skepticism over blind faith any day.

However, I'm just wondering if you've ever thought about where skepticism ends for you? I guess we would end up extremely cynical and pessimistic about life if we engage in mindless skepticism just as we would become blinded by unquestioning faith. My thinking is that there's always room in life for belief. I'm just curious as to where you would draw the line.

cont

One more thing I'd like to add: I can't say that I understand the pain of breakup that you're going through, but I myself have a girlfriend who is definitely more pious and faithful than I am. I consider myself some sort of an agnostic with a Christian identity at this point of time. I would be devastated if my girlfriend were to break up with me over the same reasons.

facebook mail cont.

Hi Jansen,

A Singapore-based friend (I think he's a mutual friend of yours) sent me the link to your note. I'd just like to thank you for a thought-provoking read. It really made my day.

I'm sorry to hear what your ex put you through in the name of what is, essentially, fantasy. It's sad that she felt she needed something more from her partner, even though you seem like an entirely decent human being.

Despite my atheism, I respect religious people's wishes to surround themselves with like-minded folk. Just like I have a need for friends to empathise with my creative spirit, Christians need religious spiritual guidance from their peers. It's unfortunate that your ex ultimately deemed you useless spiritually, even if your brand of moral guidance took a different form to her own.

I feel fortunate not to have faced your dilemma as I've always dated atheists, agnostics, or people who, at most, considered themselves cultural Christians, etc. And those who weren't atheist certainly didn't expect me to change my views for them.

I suspect this is because my fervently atheist dad is perhaps my strongest role model, and that I subconsciously compare every potential partner to him (not that they have to be embarrassingly dorky middle-aged men, but in terms of similar humanist values), or at least contemplate whether or not I'd feel proud to introduce them to my father. Freud would have a field day with me!

Anyway, you're probably sick of feedback, so I'll leave it at that. Hope you meet a lovely atheist or open-minded religious girl one day. :)

facebook mail

Hi,

We've never met, I've never even been to Singapore, but I just read this and just wanted to say that it's one of the most well constructed, well thought out pieces of writing on this topic that I have had the pleasure of reading in a long while. I can see you put a lot of effort into it. Whoever that girl is I really hope she knows what she's missing, you clearly went to great lengths to understand her religious side for the sake of the relationship. That is something many people would not do. I also respect your unwillingness to compromise your own ideals even when faced with what I can only imagine was a gut-wrenching decision.

I hope you can find a way to move forward soon.

poetry - a divine gift?

God-less

They came here to share
What One had spoken
They told me that all wrongs
Would now be forgiven

I heard how they called
To faces unseen
Their voices sang praises
Both aloud and within

They asked for me to pray
They asked for me to try
They offered me new ways
To leave my doubts behind

I looked upon their faces
I could see no lie
I smiled my awkward answer
But envied their burning eyes

I played my part and followed
I stepped on to their beats
A heart that once was hollow
Is trying to be complete

Alas, their faces have shown
That I did not do well
I could not hide my yearning gaze
My struggles they could tell

There were so many questions
That kept my door closed tight
I've had too many friends
Like reason, doubt and pride

I parted feeling God-less
Not fit or meant-to-be
I wondered about my lost ticket
For their spritirual journey

For them it must be simple
A complete divine surrender
I wondered how I should have felt
When I received their offer

Should I stop this believing
In all that's here and now?
Could I ever give up this magic
Through reason which I've found?

One day Love came around the same
And offered me her ways
Again I smiled my answer
To her come-what-may

Alas and again we parted
My door stood tightly shut
Her key could not undo the hurt
Or fill a missing part

I swore I'd not do this again
She swore she'd never stop
A promise to keep trying
Like waves against the rocks

Could love and God be one
My door has kept shut out?
Condemned to search an eternity
Before the key is found?

Today I still feel God-less
Not fit or meant-to-be
I wonder about my lost ticket
And Love's promise to me

by June Kiat aka madpoet
http://madpatchwork.blogspot.com/2010/03/god-less.html

i respect. i can give no higher praise.

landed that internship job!

i applied for an internship position for the 3 month summer break and i landed it! one shot, one kill. *blows smoke wafting off gun tip*. come 10th may, i'll be working for a property management company in toa payoh (jackson square). the interviewers did mention something along the lines of me being attached to offices at different locations all over Singapore, so i guess i'll be doing a bit of running all over the place.

admittedly, this intern job might not be as glamorous/life-en''rich''ing as those my peers are gunning for in the fields of REITs/banking and finance/urban planning, but property management nevertheless is one important aspect of the creature that is real estate. in the words of one of my property management professors, 'this job is recession-proof!'.

so basically it's end of examinations, then climbX, then embark on this adventure (or chore depending on how one sees it) until school starts again in august. i hope to learn as much as possible from this opportunity. no doubt that going to hongkong/krabi with the rest is a more exciting and enticing prospect, but as i grow older, i accept that i got to shoulder on more responsibilities. *i see more wrinkles forming around my parents' faces each day*. and that entails me doing something i might not like now in hope of future security. delayed gratification. the time value of money. cannot escape from these concepts. of course being a wanderer (my childhood ambition) is romantic and all.. but it doesnt put food on the table. good bye idealist jansen. here is the more pragmatic version. i hope i dont lose myself in the process.

anyways i gleaned some insights from the interview that i want to share here. this can potentially help job seekers, or it might not. i'm no expert, but i did manage to get myself selected out of a large pool of applicants (some of them year 3s) =)
1. dress smartly and arrive 30 minutes earlier. this gives time for you to catch your breath and prepare yourself mentally for the interview. it also gives the employer a good first impression.
2. ask for your interviewer's name so you can address him properly when you meet him. this little gesture goes a long way into showing your potential employers how you are trying to make the effort.
3. use humour where appropriate. a little laughter lightens the entire rather tense atmosphere.
4. engage your interviewers. lean in. smile. gesture. say things along the lines of 'i am humble and willing to learn'.
5. have job experience that you can talk convincingly and enthusiastically about. they want to see that you are outgoing and proactive. they want to see that you can be a team player and yet is able to work alone.
6. ask questions about the company. this signals to them that you are interested in working with them. to them, a disinterested potential employee wouldn't bother to ask any questions.
7. email them after the interview to say that you appreciate the chance for the interview and that you hope to hear from them soon.
8. dont lose hope. or burn joss-sticks. or hope around 10 times with your tongue sticking out. or pray to God. whatever works for you.
9. do more of that thang in 8. and no i wasn't kidding. now do it more earnestly. go back to 8!
10. VIOLA!
CAVEAT: this worked for a property management company, but might not work, for say, a research department at a bank.

haha had fun writing this entry! a change from my more emotionally-laden entries recently.