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Hi Jansen,

A Singapore-based friend (I think he's a mutual friend of yours) sent me the link to your note. I'd just like to thank you for a thought-provoking read. It really made my day.

I'm sorry to hear what your ex put you through in the name of what is, essentially, fantasy. It's sad that she felt she needed something more from her partner, even though you seem like an entirely decent human being.

Despite my atheism, I respect religious people's wishes to surround themselves with like-minded folk. Just like I have a need for friends to empathise with my creative spirit, Christians need religious spiritual guidance from their peers. It's unfortunate that your ex ultimately deemed you useless spiritually, even if your brand of moral guidance took a different form to her own.

I feel fortunate not to have faced your dilemma as I've always dated atheists, agnostics, or people who, at most, considered themselves cultural Christians, etc. And those who weren't atheist certainly didn't expect me to change my views for them.

I suspect this is because my fervently atheist dad is perhaps my strongest role model, and that I subconsciously compare every potential partner to him (not that they have to be embarrassingly dorky middle-aged men, but in terms of similar humanist values), or at least contemplate whether or not I'd feel proud to introduce them to my father. Freud would have a field day with me!

Anyway, you're probably sick of feedback, so I'll leave it at that. Hope you meet a lovely atheist or open-minded religious girl one day. :)