facebook mail cont.

Dear Jansen,

I refer to your Facebook note, "Letter to a Christian Girlfriend". I know you wrote it more than a month ago, but reading it makes me feel the need to respond, because everything you say seems to strike a chord in me. I am sorry to hear about your breakup, but I trust that you have since moved on, or are moving on.

Everything you said is something I have thought, and articulated before, albeit not as well as you have. I have had my own personal encounter with Christianity which I don't see the need to reveal the details of, but like you, I have found inconsistencies in the religion (even without really reading the Bible like you have) that in my mind I am unable to reconcile, that makes it impossible, simply impossible, for me to accept the religion. I have been confronted with the prospect of believing in the faith, and have carefully deliberated it, perhaps for a year... After which, I returned to my starting position, the only difference being that this time I could confidently say that I had made an informed decision (previously I had been blasphemous but without a sound understanding of the religion).

I have many Christian friends who are truly great people, but I am afraid it does not change my perception of the religion. To say that I am completely, spiritually self-sufficient would be at least sometimes a lie. But to adopt a faith that I do not truly believe in and whose loopholes are staring in my face, is simply unacceptable to me, and highly hypocritical. I may not be as smart as you, but I think I can confidently say that I am someone who, like you, reasons and rationalises. That is probably why I cannot see myself ever taking the "leap of faith" which many Christians, and people of other faiths for that matter, have taken. To me, Science precedes over religion, but for some, religion is supreme. I once asked a Christian friend what he would do if a gene for homosexuality was discovered, and his response was, to my utter disbelief, "I would choose to believe the Bible".

I quite agree with your view that believing in a particular religion is highly dependent on one's place of birth, and therefore arbitrary, and in that sense not a true personal choice. If you were to pick out 10 Christians, reverse time and educate them about 20 other religions, and deprived them of any parental (or other) influence, there may well be none of them who actually choose Christianity. It is also for this reason that I cannot reconcile the fact that "God" is "all-loving" and a God of justice, when billions of people around the world may not even have had the opportunity to acquaint themselves with Christianity. Is God then allowing these people to be condemned to eternal death, while allowing salvation to those who had the benefit of parental influence from a young age?

I share your view that religion can be a powerful, destructive force, the cause of much bloodshed in the world. Even without the bloodshed, it has torn many apart as it did you and your ex-girlfriend. Many other couples have been broken apart by, or made impossible by, the fact that one party is a Christian and the other a non-Christian. If God is loving, would he stand by and watch true love be torn apart like that? Is this really what he intended for?

Having said all the above, I do not think that religion is necessarily an evil thing. I recognise the merits of religion as well - it can provide spiritual guidance and comfort to a person. There are always two sides to a coin. Much of religious morality has diffused into the secular realm of life... For better or for worse. Monogamy, for example, is largely derived from Christianity, and has certainly had a positive impact on the social fabric. Then again, some of the values borrowed from the religion have unduly marginalised certain groups of people, homosexuals being one good example.

Like you, I am studying in university, with exams coming up pretty soon, so after reading snippets of your writing, I wanted to put off reading the rest of it to another day, and write you a response only when I have the time. But something in me pushed me to read on. Your writing has been a comfort to me, and certainly echoes many of my thoughts (and feelings).

I thank you for your wonderful piece of writing (you write beautifully), and wish you all the best in your exams and your future.