delayed gratification

since young, my mother has indoctrinated into me that my birthday is not a time for my celebration. 'it is a time to remember the difficult time your mother had bringing you into this world', she would tell me. when i was younger, i got very indignant upon hearing this words. this is her reason for not allowing me to go to my friend's birthday parties or me hosting my own one. my little mind could not comprehend why my other friends were allowed to have theirs whereas i couldnt have mine.

i was a very sheltered little kid and some classmates have even commented that i was tied to my mum's apron strings. i've always begrudged her for not letting me be more independent; to let me walk to school on my own and to let me have the freedom of doing what i wanted. i guess it was for the best of me. i didnt turn out so bad after all eh. when i grew older, i began to see the wisdom behind her words/actions. she also began to relinquish all her control over me. i could go anywhere i wanted without informing her beforehand first. i could go overseas tomorrow and only tell her today. she threw me the car keys for me to drive around on my own when i passed my driving test. i am getting more freedom but i cant help but feel like i'm losing something. this may sound weird, but i miss her constant moddle coddle-ing. growing up sure is confusing as hell.

nowadays, when i see peers hosting their mega birthday parties, i draw strength from her words. i really cannot stand extravagant teens who have yet to truly earn their own money but insist on a several thousand dollar budget while hosting their party. wouldnt a simple sit down dinner with some close friends suffice? rather than a party with acquaintances you barely know, spending 5 mins talking to each of the 100 friends that you've invited. that money can be put to way better use elsewhere. a backpacking trip. a donation to a charitable foundation. investment for the future. i may sound like a freaking miser, but i clearly remember spending my 21st birthday working. i certainly dont think that i have 'no life'. i give generously to my close friends but stinge on myself, you cant fault me for that. can you?

i believe in delayed gratification.


took this quote from a friend's blog:
- to know the price of everything yet know the value of nothing.