lost my mojo

sat through 2 full day competitions recently. rockmaster 10 and nyscc 10. both competitions were plagued with delays, which resulted in me spending the entire day at the competition venue. i swear the sitting-down-in-isolation-and-staring-into-space-thing is a form of mental torture. possibly, it tortures me more than others, because i cant stand wasting my time. having forced myself to crawl out of my shell for 5 days a week for a good 9 hours each day.. i'm sure this weary soul deserves some chicken soup for the precious weekend.

philosophy, psychology, anthropology, archaeology, cosmology, financial markets, economics
i think i'm weird. everyone requires personal time.. i seem to require more of it than others. i like to spend time alone immersed in books, to be intellectually stimulated by the great thinkers of generations before ours.. there are so many topics to learn.. so little time.. i remain so woefully ignorant of myriad of subjects out there.

of course i'm not only the socially inept bookworm i make myself out to be. like normal people, i enjoy the simple pleasures of life. outings and sit down dinners with friends, catching up on their lives and watching us all grow up together, and the like. i also enjoy crooning those old chinese love songs in during those lonely drives home. i simply acknowledge the fact that stimulations of the intellectual sort is more satisfying than the physical types.

truth i can know
now i understand why the nus alumni all stop competing when they start work. the wave at the back pushes the wave in the front.. one generation gives way to the next. coming august, i am starting my third academic year, which gives the appearance of me being a young climber, but i've actually been climbing and competing for close to 7 years now. i cant remember the last time i took a break. watching younger climbers with so much more potential than yourself performing at a higher level also kinda saps the morale. having said that, climbing has revealed worlds of truth to me and continues to surprise me each passing day. perhaps another year of competing.. perhaps another year..

come what may
in an earlier post, i mused over the reasons for which i climb. on introspection, i climb for the intensity. in years to come, when my body cannot keep up with that same level of intensity i demand of it, what will become of my aspirations then?