To Touch a Stranger

Sometimes, I wonder if my demeanour is optimal for someone who is supposed to be a somewhat of a spokesperson for ClimbAsia. I wonder if someone more expressive will be more suitable. I just feel compelled to clarify any potential skeletons in the closet, in much the same way an inquisitive child asks his mother why the sky is blue or why the girls are pretty.

Lets start with my ideal of a perfect sponsored athlete. He is a person with boyish good looks, an outgoing and bubbly personality, the person who sends when everyone else falls. He would be the perfect ambassador, with soft skills to make fans swoon and hard skills to make rocks crumble. Unfortunately, in all of the above criteria, I fall short. Some people think me stodgy. Some people think me to be aloof, or even go as far as to call me arrogant, because of my reluctance to partake in what I perceive as mindless chatter. And I certainly take a whipper just like any other climber on a hard route. Others think me to be boring, otherwise why else would he choose to intern away his holidays when he can go for long climbing trips?

You see.. My time is limited, so when I get down to the gym, it's all about training. I want to improve so badly I drive myself crazy thinking about it. Not stopping to exchange pleasantries, while no doubt objectionable, is just one of my adaptations. I make no apologies for it.

You see.. I am perfectly capable of small talk. In fact, the aunties at the office love me for it. I can small talk till the cows come home, but I have better things to do with my time. My nature to be more serious, to think before I speak, is shaped by my upbringing. And I make no apologies for it.

Despite my strong-headedness, I question myself all the time. My motivations, the basis for my actions.. are they sound? Is my stoicism, my persistence in being who I am, turning some people off? Which is why I'm so gratified that two Sundays ago, a totally random stranger bumped into me, and commended me for my (sic) 'amazing climbing'. The following conversation transpired..

Me: Sees Stranger and mustered a pleasant smile
Stranger: I saw you climbing (at the high wall) earlier.. Your climbing is amazing!
Me: Erm.. Thanks! (wide smile)(in a small voice)(heart set a flutter)
Stranger: You're Jansen right?
Me: Yeah..
Stranger: I saw your dyno at BoulderActive, it was damn good!
Me: Heh..
*he continued to ask me about climbing and performance, climbing injuries and how to deal with them, to which I answered to the best of my ability. After all, how can you not take to someone who has just sent you to the highest heaven?

Some random person outside my social circle coming up to personally tell me he appreciates my climbing. Talk about being inspired. Now, I'm even more resolved to stick with what has become a defining part of what makes me, me - unassuming, nonchalant yet fiercely determined.

ClimbAsia Athlete Duty - Introductory Interview

We know how important it is to keep your cool during climbing. Hesitation or agitation will distract you from executing a move perfectly. Trying to rush changing feet is another method of inviting failure. For those of you who know Jansen Ko personally and have seen him climb, you would know this brainy and cool climber is the epitome of control and decisiveness. This week, Rock Jock finds out from our new Team Climb Asia athlete Jansen what makes him tick and how we can become the Zen master that he is.


GT2: Hello Great Zen Master Jansen! A big welcome to Team Climb Asia! Care to share with us a little bit about yourself?

Jansen: I wear different hats: a child to my parents, a brother to my siblings, a student to my teachers, a coach to my students, and others. I present different bits of myself to different people, so which bit of myself would you like to know? Thought that I can finally pursue higher learning in university, but ironically education is getting in the way. Luckily, there is climbing to keep me sane.


GT2: Oh studying...less time to climb is never good! Is there anything interesting about yourself that doesn’t involve climbing! Climbers can be such boring people cos all they do is climb and talk and dream about climbing.

Jansen: I’m quite the foodie, especially for hawker fare. Old hawker centres have a lot of history and character. At the recommendation of friends, I will specially travel to some hidden corner of Singapore to suss out the good eats. I feel very at home jostling for a seat in a hawker centre and ordering food in Singlish. Some climbers may adhere to special diets, but I have no inhibitions towards eating local delights like Char Kuay Teow, Mee Rebus or Nasi Lemak, in moderation of course!


GT2: Our local delicacies are probably the reason why Singaporean climbers can stick to the grimiest holds in the universe. Haha! Moving on, so what is it about Climb Asia that made you agree to be our sponsored athlete? What do you hope to contribute by being in Team Climb Asia?

Jansen: A very big part behind the success of any venture is the story it tells. I love the ClimbAsia story, of 3 friends, who at the crossroads of their lives, came together to pursue a shared dream. Their efforts made that dream become reality, and provided a generation of climbers with the inspiration to climb hard. Such a heart-warming story don’t you think? I’m very honoured to have been offered this opportunity to learn and grow with Climb Asia. To fly the Climb Asia flag proudly on my back, that is how I hope to contribute!


GT2: And now for a boring question that every climber asks every other climber: What do you love about climbing and which aspect would you say is the one that most relates to you?

Jansen: Climbing is one entire package of travelling, seeing, learning, trying, understanding, growing. Having sampled a plethora of experiences across the climbing spectrum, I can say this with confidence: I love climbing for its intensity. I do climbing simply because it is difficult. At higher levels, it becomes a form of moving mediation – entering the zone and just letting your instincts take over. You learn so much about yourself that way. Having said that, I also enjoy the company of friends and winding down together after a day outdoors.


GT2: We know you as a very technical climber with composure that will put a Zen Buddhist monk to shame. What goes on in that mind of yours when it is you against the route?

Jansen: I think that composure wise, I still have quite some way to go. I do however, try to master my emotions by learning from the experiences of sportspeople not only in climbing, but in other sports as well. What separates the top climbers from everyone else, is a lack of ego. If you observe carefully, top climbers are nonchalant about their accomplishments. I’m very attracted to the humility, and I want to emulate that.But if you must really know the secret formula, the trick is look aloof and dispassionate on the outside while actually screaming inside!

When I’m on a route, all I think about is how to meld my body into the weaknesses of the rock, to flow across the movements, to persuade the route to allow one more climber to reach its crown.


GT2: Being a busy student, have there been times when you felt it was hard to maintain your high standards of climbing? What methods do you have to motivate yourself to train hard amidst the studying?

Jansen: It is certainly not easy to juggle the demands of school and climbing. Just this semester, I had 6 projects, on top of the usual workload of lectures, tutorials, assignments and presentations. But nothing great is ever achieved without hard work. Knowing that fellow human beings in third-world countries have it much worse serves as a good way to chide myself when I feel tempted to give up. Most importantly, nobody owes me a living. Carpe Diem!

Amidst all the hustle and bustle, I plan a programme for myself and stick to it. When I get down to the gym, it’s all business. Of course, during off-peak periods I like to share, talk and laugh just like everyone else.


GT2: Pumpfest is coming! Can you share with us how you are preparing for the competition?

Jansen: I’m currently doing endurance (build solid foundation) and strength training (muscle hypertrophy). Nearer the competition, I’ll switch to more power-based training (campusing, hard bouldering). I’ll also do competition specific training like bouldering intervals. Not forgetting mental training (onsighting and visualisation) too.


GT2: Any advice for the climbers who will be joining Pumpfest?

Jansen: Live the crowd, enjoy the competition.

The climber must first acknowledge that some nervousness is good. It is the body’s way of raising heartbeat and pumping adrenaline to prepare you for the tasks ahead. But too much nervousness can cripple the climber. I find that a very useful thought is to think that I’m a dancer about to take the stage - the culmination of all the effort from months before is on display. I feel very proud to be able to perform for all to see.

GT2: And we can't wait to catch you in action at Pumpfest 2011! Ladies and gentlemen, that's Team Climb Asia athlete Jansen Ko for you! Remember to head down to Millenia Walk on 4th June to watch him tear the routes apart at the Open Men qualifiers. Your cheers will be a great encouragement to him and our other athletes!

Old Pieces of Writing - Just A Statement of Fact

*Written for Edged on Oct 2010

At the recently concluded SIM Bouldering Championships, some random insight struck me, which I hope to share here.

I’ve been qualifying for Mens Open Finals for like the past 2 years now, consistently for almost every competition. Good enough to qualify, but not good enough to make the podium. Regardless, being able to qualify for the finals has become a rather uncanny ability. No matter if I had to endure the stress of projects and assignments breathing down my throat in weeks past, no matter if I did not sleep properly the night before. Slip in to the finals by a hair’s breadth I somehow manage to.

I didn’t manage to qualify for this competition.

Every competitor knows that there are good days and bad days. Your body cannot be performing at its peak all the time, so you have to periodize your training in order to hem in that optimal level for the competition season. The competitors’ holy grail – making sure your good day coincides with your competition day – is highly sought after. Inevitably, there are days where poor performance becomes an issue. Understanding this, I wasn’t too bothered on failing to make the finals.

Amusingly, when friends asked me how I did for the qualifiers, to which I replied I didn’t make the cut, almost instantaneously, some ‘console-this-dude-if-he-fails-to-qualify’ switch gets flipped on in their brains. They typically launch into a lengthy but well-meaning tirade about how I shouldn’t feel so bad; how competitions aren’t everything there is to rock climbing; how further opportunities abound, and the like. It is quite funny actually – like watching a tape put on rewind, except you didn’t press the rewind button.

Look here. When I say the (almost blasphemous, considering the reaction) words I didn’t qualify, it is simply a statement of fact. No negative emotion, unhappy feelings, suicidal tendencies, or whatsoever, is embedded within. Let me spell it out for you, the proper way to interpret the line is “You didn’t qualify. FULLSTOP”. I cannot emphasize the fullstop enough.

Some people feel a need to proclaim on social media platforms their failure in the undertaking, musing whether to quit climbing, eliciting “WHAT? NO!” responses, seeking reassurances from friends that they’re fine climbers, and revel in that fuzzy warm feeling of being wrapped tightly in that sense of security. I however, do not have such a need. I recognize that on the occasion, I failed to make the cut.

Basically, I see things for what they are. This is a competition – the best man wins. The time spent complaining or living in denial can be better put to reflection, and clinical training. If I had cried my eyes out or got all emotional for every competition I failed to make the finals (the number is quite significant given my ability, or lack thereof), you’ll be seeing a rather shriveled specimen (Jansenes Petrificus Totalis!) now.

Being objective or just being plain rude? Heh. You decide.

Old Pieces of Writing - Memoirs of a Chief Route Setter

*Written for Edged on Sept 2010

Big Shoes to Fill

Awww come on Jansen! Just one small competition and you think you’re qualified to write a ‘Memoirs of a Chief Route Setter’? You must be kidding me! At least a few more route setting jobs under your belt first before attempting to write a topic as vast as such?

One Thing Leads to Another

For those unaware, I was appointed as the Chief Route Setter (CRS) for the recently concluded ClimbNus10. Initially, I was asked to be the CRS for the carnival only. I agreed after some thought. On hindsight, my thought process must be really screwed to accept this underpaid (zero pay in fact) and overworked job. Perhaps I find it difficult to refuse a lady. Or perhaps I was itching for a challenge. Whatever the reason, I accepted the position. Lo and behold, it was the promise that sealed my fate. Soon after, the committee decided to host an invitationals over the weekend. The responsibility was trebled. 16 routes ballooned to 40. Setting for a competition is a whole different ball game from setting for a carnival. Sucked into this vortex, it was too late to pull myself free now. Take it like a man, my gung-ho friends would say. Grit your teeth and soldier on! Sometimes, I wish I could just be a wuss..

Prior to the start of the routesetting on Saturday (the event was on Sunday), I painstakingly drew out the front and side profiles of each wall, including detailing the position of each bolt hole. I begged requested for volunteers and organized them into time frames for each category. Bearing in mind the need to set 24 routes within the day, delay in the routesetting for any one category will snowball in the others. The time of volunteers who arrived punctually will be wasted, and having been a victim of this on several occasions, I endeavored to make sure this didn’t happen. Not on my watch. Reminders were sent out, checklists were put up.

The Impossible may well be Possible..

That Saturday was also the day where I almost lost my temper. A friend who has known me for a long time remarked incredulously, You? Lose your temper? That’s impossible! However, volunteers who came late, volunteers who dropped a cursory sms at the eleventh hour saying he/she could not make it and asking whether I still needed help, volunteers who took ages to put up their draft route and resisted suggestions, among others, gnawed at my patience. Am I too demanding, or do some people just need to work on their sense of responsibility?

A Happy Ending

It wasn’t all bad though. There were gems. I especially enjoyed setting with the team that put up the Open circuit. Each routesetter was experienced, efficient and brimming with ideas. We put up the routes quickly and had ample time to test each other’s routes. These efforts culminated in the visually entertaining Open event. Members of the audience have come up to tell me it was a joy to watch. It was gratifying to receive praise, because more often than not, when the routes are good nobody notices, but when the routes are just slightly off-the-mark everybody has something to say. The average layman suddenly morphs into a routesetting guru. The criticism is often harsh, in-your-face and cuts like a blade. The stress of it all hung like a dark cloud over my head.

Thankfully, routesetting-wise, the competition proceeded smoothly. The participants were filtered out nicely (with the exception of Novice Women, sorry!), the routes werent so traumatising such that majority of the competitors wanted to quit climbing after the competition, but yet were tough enough to separate the field. Nobody got injured doing crazy moves, although I suspect this is more due to excellent spotters than prudent routesetting.

Rest for the Weary

Now that the event is over, I can finally rest easy and catch up on lost sleep. Muscles aching, joints tweaky and emotionally drained, a break from all that is akin to cool water on parched lips.

Routesetting VS Competing

A peculiar question surfaced. Do I take delight in setting deviously tricky routes for the competitors to work around (as a routesetter) or do I revel in the willing my body to overcome the problems (as a competitor) more? The answer is really quite simple. At least for the time being, I’m still a competitor at heart. My place should be standing shoulder-to-shoulder alongside other competitors, not donning a routesetter cap hunched over route plans. Pitting my prowess against other athletes and gunning for victory is more my cup of tea; mulling over whether a route is set successfully can wait till my bones age. Am just glad to have looked through the lenses of both perspectives, and became less ignorant as a result.

CRS: One time only, no encore?

Old Pieces of Writing - A Spot of Investigative Journalism

*Written for Edged in July 2010

Disclaimer

From the very outset, I must make my intentions clear. My intentions are neither to smear the reputation of any organisation nor to launch into an accusatory finger-pointing tirade. It is fair however, to seek some form of accountability.

The Main Grouse

NSSCC REGISTRATION FORM (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

For NSSCC 10 which happened earlier this April, our national sportclimbing body the Singapore Mountaineering Federation (SMF), put a statement into the registration form. Stated clearly under the prizes section is a line specifying that they would be selecting the division champions to represent Singapore in the Asia Youth Cup, scheduled for July 2010 in Indonesia. In this local sports news website, the same was reported. July has come and past, but there has been no news from the SMF front.

The Boy Who Cried Wolf?

Has the competition happened but for some reason our young athletes were not sent there? Did the competition fail to materialise, and if so, why aren’t our young athletes informed? No formal reason is provided by our governing body, so it would be unwarranted to blame anyone for wildly speculating.

Unless we’re living in a society with some radically different societal norms, promises made are expected to be kept. Broken promises damage the credibility of the people (or in this case, organisation) that made it.

Here, I must emphasize that I’m not accusing SMF of lying. That would be too harsh. No matter how contrived the end result may seem, it must have originated from a well-meaning starting point. Or has it? Once again, without clarification from the relevant party, I can only speculate.

The Climber’s Voice

To provide a more balanced view of this situation, I’ve tracked down the division champions, and also a teacher-in-charge of students who have won, to hear what they have to say. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, they provided me with their perspective on the matter.

NEWSPAPER CLIP ON ST (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

Mr Kong (fake name, any resemblance to person or persons are sorely regretted), a teacher from a school here, says that “Since the competition ended in April, I’ve yet to receive any news from SMF. When approached, some officials appear to be clueless about the competition details. I’ve since told my students not to put in too hope into thinking they can go for the competition.”

Mr Hee (fake name, any resemblance to person or persons are sorely regretted), a student from a junior college here, commented “I thought that since I’ve won the competition, SMF will keep their promise and send me overseas to compete. I waited in anticipation, but the news never came.”

In this newspaper article, a secondary 4 student is described as being jubilant at winning. He says that no doubt the Asian competition will be tough, but he’s going to be prepared for it. He plans to double his current training to 4 times weekly in preparation for the challenge. How will he feel now given such a turn of events, the misgivings compounded by a conspicuous lack of open, readily-available information?

Too Difficult a Moral Choice?

Stand by waiting for someone else to voice out this glaring unfairness, or stand up and demand accountability. It’s your choice. How about a “I would like accountability in our National Sporting Association” in the comments section to show some love?

Is doing nothing as good agreeing with their actions?

Old Pieces of Writing - Unweaving the Rainbow

*Written for Edged in June 2010

In this blog post, Nalle Hukkataival discusses his excitement at having found a project in his backyard. By the sounds of it, the project may well be impossible.

PSYCHED!

Some Excerpts from Nalle’s Blog

“after 4 sessions on it, i managed to do a single move..”

“that one move i’ve been able to do is the first one and it is most likely the easiest one..”

“..hold a position for a spilt second, not even feeling remotely close to being able to move any part of my body”

Just Imagine

When imagining the magnitude of the difficulty, I find myself tingling with anticipation. Inadvertently, the sweat glands in my palms started gushing. This must be one hell of a sick-ass hard problem. Soon after the quiet realization dawned in. Actually, difficulty per se is of secondary importance. Look at it this way: It doesn’t matter what the grade of the problem is. Regardless of whether you are a professional athlete or a newbie climber, the feelings of trying out a problem beyond your current ability is the same. You feel like every fibre in your body is screaming for rest; you deal with sentiments of frustration, maybe anger, sometimes dejection. Often, such intertwining emotions lead to one finality – you are tempted to give up.

What Makes a Pro

What separates the man from the boys, or in case, the pros from the newbies, is a positive mentality. When one believes something to be possible, some switch in the brain is turned on. That positivity brings about a change almost instantaneously – the lightness of each step, the clarity with which you see, the tenacity to rebel against your fate. That positivity permeates every aspect of your life, not just climbing.

It is inspiring to see Nalle putting in that effort to attempt to send the problem, even though it may well be impossible. No doubt, critics will implore him to give up, or shake their heads at this effort in futility. But remember: nothing great is ever accomplished by the critic. Great works are done by the man who goes out to do it.

Perils of Instant Gratification

Coincidentally, I chanced upon the entry just as I was lamenting the state of affairs in the Singapore climbing scene. Nowadays, the virtues of hard work and delayed gratification are no longer fashionable. The good old days of setting a problem, trying it repeatedly and not “being able to move on” until finally sending it have all but become a fading memory. Instead, climbers of today revel in instant gratification. I seldom see or hear of young climbers setting a long-term project, throwing themselves against it for months on end, and then finally surmounting it. More common than not, jumping on a new problem each time at the gym and chucking that old “impossible” problem at the back of the mind is the case.

Of course, there are merits associated with trying a different route every time. The new climber is engram-med with a plethora of moves, picking up techniques like twisting/drop knee/sitting in quickly. Admittedly, the pace of learning is accelerated. However, another force, perhaps of a slightly insidious nature, is at play here. The problem: the climber becomes attracted to quick rewards, doing problems that are easy to complete. Ultimately, he gains nothing much out of the entire exercise except a momentary sense of happiness. The costs appear to outweigh the benefits – this point is explored in greater detail below.

Unweaving the Rainbow

What is attractive about projects is the richness of emotions associated with seeing through the project, from its inception to its completion. Starting from the awe induced by standing below the seemingly unfathomable line, to the gung-ho initial attempts pitting your entire might against it, to slowly and painstakingly working out the sequences of the entire route, to the frustrations at not being able to push past hard sections, to the sinking realization that the project might well be impossible. And finally, when sending the project, being flushed with wild exuberance and drowned in immense satisfaction. Then, leaving with quiet contentment.

Wouldn’t you agree that these emotions are more vivid and more effective in shaping personal development, as opposed to one fleeting moment of happiness?

THE AUTHOR'S PROJECT, WHICH TOOK HIM 3 TRIPS TO SEND - MORE AN INDICATOR OF HIS LACK OF ABILITY THAN OF PERSEVERANCE. LUCKILY FOR HIM, HARD WORK PAID OFF.

So go forth, find your projects.

PS: I apologize for shamelessly putting up the one picture I thought was relevant. Pardon me, for I am new to this business of putting up pictures onto blogs. Am doing this ‘picture’ thing at the behest of my boss, who thinks pictures do a better job of engaging audiences than words.

Random Conversation at Work II

Female Colleague: Hey Jansen, how heavy are you?

Me: Pause.. Anticipate and dread the eventual response.. Take a deep breath.. Erm.. after dinner I'm usually about 50kg

Female Colleague: *announces to the entire office* Hey Jansen only weighs 50kg! Lighter than me leh!

Another Female Colleague: You dont tell me I also know loh. I see his arms so small.. So scrawny..
Me: Sighhh..

Random Conversations at Work

*insert random conversation about how I'm doing in school, and how many years of education left to go

Auntie: So you haven't done your NS yet lah?!

Me: *silent for a while* I've not only done my NS, I've went for 3 reservists already..

Auntie: Huh? But you look so young.. and your complexion so fair.. like a girl

Me: *lost for words*

*after lunch time, when your stomach is pretty much bloated

Auntie: Boy arh, come come.. eat more.. eat this snack, and that snack..

Me: No no, since the 1 month that I've joined the company, I've grown a belly already..

Auntie: *incredulous look* No no you so skinny, eat more eat more.. You so small size girls dont like one. I just bought this muffin, very nice, you must eat (voice raised by several decibels)!

*Forcibly shoves the muffin onto my table..

Me: Sigh..