To Touch a Stranger

Sometimes, I wonder if my demeanour is optimal for someone who is supposed to be a somewhat of a spokesperson for ClimbAsia. I wonder if someone more expressive will be more suitable. I just feel compelled to clarify any potential skeletons in the closet, in much the same way an inquisitive child asks his mother why the sky is blue or why the girls are pretty.

Lets start with my ideal of a perfect sponsored athlete. He is a person with boyish good looks, an outgoing and bubbly personality, the person who sends when everyone else falls. He would be the perfect ambassador, with soft skills to make fans swoon and hard skills to make rocks crumble. Unfortunately, in all of the above criteria, I fall short. Some people think me stodgy. Some people think me to be aloof, or even go as far as to call me arrogant, because of my reluctance to partake in what I perceive as mindless chatter. And I certainly take a whipper just like any other climber on a hard route. Others think me to be boring, otherwise why else would he choose to intern away his holidays when he can go for long climbing trips?

You see.. My time is limited, so when I get down to the gym, it's all about training. I want to improve so badly I drive myself crazy thinking about it. Not stopping to exchange pleasantries, while no doubt objectionable, is just one of my adaptations. I make no apologies for it.

You see.. I am perfectly capable of small talk. In fact, the aunties at the office love me for it. I can small talk till the cows come home, but I have better things to do with my time. My nature to be more serious, to think before I speak, is shaped by my upbringing. And I make no apologies for it.

Despite my strong-headedness, I question myself all the time. My motivations, the basis for my actions.. are they sound? Is my stoicism, my persistence in being who I am, turning some people off? Which is why I'm so gratified that two Sundays ago, a totally random stranger bumped into me, and commended me for my (sic) 'amazing climbing'. The following conversation transpired..

Me: Sees Stranger and mustered a pleasant smile
Stranger: I saw you climbing (at the high wall) earlier.. Your climbing is amazing!
Me: Erm.. Thanks! (wide smile)(in a small voice)(heart set a flutter)
Stranger: You're Jansen right?
Me: Yeah..
Stranger: I saw your dyno at BoulderActive, it was damn good!
Me: Heh..
*he continued to ask me about climbing and performance, climbing injuries and how to deal with them, to which I answered to the best of my ability. After all, how can you not take to someone who has just sent you to the highest heaven?

Some random person outside my social circle coming up to personally tell me he appreciates my climbing. Talk about being inspired. Now, I'm even more resolved to stick with what has become a defining part of what makes me, me - unassuming, nonchalant yet fiercely determined.