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Hey dude, i stumbled upon your note. Didnt want to refresh the note on the homepage or get potentially embroiled in an intellectual discussion so chose not to comment on the post.

Like many people before me, i spent a long time reading through the note, plus all the comments. It totally replaced my revision schedule! Must say i am very impressed with your knowledge and logical thinking. You have my respect for having the guts to stay true to your views.

I can relate to what you have went through. Though ultimately my previous relationship didnt end because of religion, it was a barrier that will surface inevitably - unspoken, hidden but very real.

I know it's been a month since the note was posted, and i sincerely hope you are feeling better now (other than exam stress of course!).

I believe humans are adaptable creatures, we learn to focus our attention on imminent subjects. That does not mean we can forget sorrow easily - it is buried somewhere, somehow. For me, the temporary reprieve is good enough to reduce, or should i say, delay the pain. I hope you have found yours.

Well... In a nutshell, take care dude. And see you around in school. Oh ya, good luck for your exams too!

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Hi there. I dont know you but I read your post from other people posting links to your note. Just wanna say it was fucking awesome. I'm an ex-catholic and I've made plenty of arguments on my own before quitting. Great stuff. Btw, the christianity isnt the only religion originating from the middle east with a story of a great flood in it. I took a mythology class in uni and it taught that the Mesopotamians had plenty of weather-disaster-due-to-gods stories as the area they were in was very prone to poor weather, flooding especially. Hence their religion was quite depressing in comparison to the egyptians who were a short distance away, and they celebrated floodings instead as the silt the flooding brought onto the land provided fertile soil for farming. So yeah. Good luck with everything. Cya.

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Hi Jansen: i am a XXX professor at XXX, a voracious critic of religion, and a fan of SM, RD and their ilk. a colleague of mine forwarded your letter to your girlfriend, and i enjoyed it. you surely deserve better, and i am very glad to know that you have moved on.

unfortunately your circumstances in singapore is not very uncommon, and i have many students who have related the same story to me. incidentally, i have noticed, its always the religious girl threatening the agonostic/non-believer guy, at least in heterosexual relationships.

and unfortunately, unlike you, many of my students havent really had the courage to say no, and therefore ended up in the church with all its stupidity. i wish there are more like you, who can stand up, say no, and pursue a more fulfilling life.

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hey you may not know me, but my friend showed me the letter you wrote and i admire how much time and effort you have acty put in to write this thing. after all i understand how you feel totally as i have been through it just a few months back.

other than that, i think its quite cool to know that i was from dhs and tjc as well, and soon to be in nus. that makes me your junior since a long time back. thank you so much for writing all these down as after reading it, i do feel a little better. i had once thought of doing what you did, but i know that once some things are over, they cant be changed. i was left pondering abt what i had done wrong for the next few months. until today, i am not fully over the girl although i have no choice, but to suffer in silence.

know you are the innocent one and the victim in this situation, and there isn't much you can do even though you'd want to. writing this letter down probably let you vent your disappointment, grief and anger by alot. hope you are feeling alot better after this. you have my 100% support because i have been in the same boat, and i totally cannot understand the rationale and reasoning behind their actions.

haha well hope to make a new friend with you, and if you like i could share my story with you also. then maybe if you know that there are many others like you around, you wouldn't be feeling so bad.

hope you have a great week ahead, and take good care!

cont

haha you dont have to feel too bad about yourself, can always find another person again. i know its hard but have to force yourself. for me is just waiting for uni start and hopefully can find someone that is definitely not christian.

yea i have been with my ex for 2 and half years before breakup. she was initially a freethinker, but converted and kena psycho-ed into church and all. when she convert i already wanted to let go cuz i know its v troublesome, but she kept assuring me that we just had to respect each other religion and all. so for 2 years, i lived with it and was totally agreeable with her going to church and doing her religious stuff. i nvr knew a problem existed until she repeatedly forced me to read the bible and to go church, of which i rejected kindly. but just like you, at the peak of our happiness, she suddenly told me to convert or breakup. and when i know i could not bear to leave her, i said i would convert for her sake. but then it was too late, she just din want me back anymore. i knew it was stupid but i think at that point of time, the most impt thing was still to keep her. now i do realise how stupid i would have been if i were to convert. living a lie for the rest of my life. ya lo that was my first ever relationship, and i was totally serious abt it, and it had to be spoilt in the hands of a christian. damn.

yup i guess ppl like us are v tolerant of other religions and beliefs, but is usually the christians that wna force this and that, and make it the no 1 ultimate supreme religion, of which i think is bullshit. god this god that, god wouldnt have caused all this if he really existed.

from that day onwards, i have a v strong anti-christian view, even though im alright hanging out with my christian friends, so long as they dont try to preach or convert me. as for the girl, i have deleted all contacts with her, and not talked to her since that day she left. i feel it will aid me better in healing rather than trying to hang on and wait. you shld too. no point keeping. well, take this as a v painful lesson learnt. you and me have learnt it the hard way.

thanks for replying man, i know you are losing weight, feeling stressed, and always thinking of it in the middle of the night. just hope i can be someone to advise and share my views so that you will be up again in no time. haha. hear from you soon again.

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hey Jansen, I may not know you in person but, i'm glad i got a chance to read that masterpiece of yours titled "Letter to a Christian Girlfriend"
& your writing, content, language & structure wise, is simply brilliant
i'm amazed by the amount of research you did for this piece
its really awesome & i'm really enlightened after reading what you wrote :)

i used to date a Christian & things were going well bcos both of us already acknowledged the fact that we are of different spiritual beliefs (i'm a Buddhist)
but we compromised, bcos we believe being happy is the most important consideration
there were times when people will bring up the issue and just a couple of weeks ago, the parents finally spoke to me about it
thats when i realized, this is not just about the 2 of us
dating a Christian is like, besides dating his family, i'm also dating God

okayyy maybe that sounded weird but yea, i threw a fit about it, asking him why did his parents do that
i know it wasn't his fault as through out our relationship, he was giving in alot & putting in effort
he wasn't that kind who would force me to attend church every Sunday
sigh its just sad that we are apart although we are still very much in love
but i guess this is life, although people always say love triumphs all evil (wait, or was it just me?), at the end of the day, religion does play a factor

my atheist friend has this motto of his own "religion separates people" & i can't agree more
i'm not sure how long ago was your break up but i hope you're feeling better already :)
me on the other hand? i can't seem to let go yet
so...i'm attending church on Sundays, for i would want to see whats the fuss is about as well as to understand the religion
i also tried reading the Bible
i know to others is like, i'm doing this entirely for him
but for me, i just want to be happy
& if continue seeing him makes me happy, why not?

oh gosh i realized i just wrote an essay !
pardon me & thanks if you've been reading till here
oh yea the purpose of writing this message, is just to let you know that piece of writing really helped me, & i believe for others as well :)