landed that internship job!

i applied for an internship position for the 3 month summer break and i landed it! one shot, one kill. *blows smoke wafting off gun tip*. come 10th may, i'll be working for a property management company in toa payoh (jackson square). the interviewers did mention something along the lines of me being attached to offices at different locations all over Singapore, so i guess i'll be doing a bit of running all over the place.

admittedly, this intern job might not be as glamorous/life-en''rich''ing as those my peers are gunning for in the fields of REITs/banking and finance/urban planning, but property management nevertheless is one important aspect of the creature that is real estate. in the words of one of my property management professors, 'this job is recession-proof!'.

so basically it's end of examinations, then climbX, then embark on this adventure (or chore depending on how one sees it) until school starts again in august. i hope to learn as much as possible from this opportunity. no doubt that going to hongkong/krabi with the rest is a more exciting and enticing prospect, but as i grow older, i accept that i got to shoulder on more responsibilities. *i see more wrinkles forming around my parents' faces each day*. and that entails me doing something i might not like now in hope of future security. delayed gratification. the time value of money. cannot escape from these concepts. of course being a wanderer (my childhood ambition) is romantic and all.. but it doesnt put food on the table. good bye idealist jansen. here is the more pragmatic version. i hope i dont lose myself in the process.

anyways i gleaned some insights from the interview that i want to share here. this can potentially help job seekers, or it might not. i'm no expert, but i did manage to get myself selected out of a large pool of applicants (some of them year 3s) =)
1. dress smartly and arrive 30 minutes earlier. this gives time for you to catch your breath and prepare yourself mentally for the interview. it also gives the employer a good first impression.
2. ask for your interviewer's name so you can address him properly when you meet him. this little gesture goes a long way into showing your potential employers how you are trying to make the effort.
3. use humour where appropriate. a little laughter lightens the entire rather tense atmosphere.
4. engage your interviewers. lean in. smile. gesture. say things along the lines of 'i am humble and willing to learn'.
5. have job experience that you can talk convincingly and enthusiastically about. they want to see that you are outgoing and proactive. they want to see that you can be a team player and yet is able to work alone.
6. ask questions about the company. this signals to them that you are interested in working with them. to them, a disinterested potential employee wouldn't bother to ask any questions.
7. email them after the interview to say that you appreciate the chance for the interview and that you hope to hear from them soon.
8. dont lose hope. or burn joss-sticks. or hope around 10 times with your tongue sticking out. or pray to God. whatever works for you.
9. do more of that thang in 8. and no i wasn't kidding. now do it more earnestly. go back to 8!
10. VIOLA!
CAVEAT: this worked for a property management company, but might not work, for say, a research department at a bank.

haha had fun writing this entry! a change from my more emotionally-laden entries recently.

goal setting and its intracacies

i remember somewhere earlier in this blog, i wrote that by the end of university, i want to be able to climb a 8B+ and that i want to qualify for a open mens finals. i easily achieved the latter whereas had little chance to explore the former.

i've given the issue of goal setting much thought. initially, after setting quantifiable goals, e.g. qualifying for mens open finals, and achieving these goals, i feel a sense of contentment. but that feeling is short-term. a short while after, i tell myself to not rest on my laurels and then continue to push on for more. on hindsight, this constant search for better and better results can be both inspiring and yet a little detrimental at the same time. at what point will i know when is enough?

i spoke with a mentor, and she told me that self challenge must be balanced with a deep sense of self-love and appreciation. always wanting more forms the very fabric of my nature - i've been this way since young. i want more not out of greediness, but because i want to discover my boundaries. i want to know what i am capable of. the mentor told me that striving to be better is good, but whether it is done with a healthy perspective of self is another issue altogether. it is not healthy to forever be in a state of want, perceiving the self as not whole yet. she says that we first need to see ourselves as whole and complete, but yet ever evolve towards deeper abilities. this invaluable piece of insight really pressed all the right buttons.

i was told to explore the reasons for wanting to constantly up my limits. upon much reflection, i decided on three reasons. one, i revel in the mastery of my body and enjoy the process of watching myself grow mentally. i love seeing what my body can accomplish under stress, and i feel this process forms an important part of my journey of self discovery. second, i want to inspire those who have walked or are walking the same path as me, that it is not impossible for a [stop climbing for 6 months to study for A levels, stop climbing for 2 years for NS, thereafter balance the hectic requirements of university] person to do reasonably well for both climbing and studies. three, i believe that it is only possible to derive the most fun out of climbing when you are climbing at your hardest. as such, these three overarching goals will form the bedrock of my reasons for climbing hard.

however, again i find problems with such a method of goal setting - a lack of signals. there is a lack of quantifiable benchmarks against which you can measure your achievements and decide whether they satisfied the goals. for example, what constitutes doing reasonably well for climbing? and for the matter, studies? this brings us back a full circle. the need for overarching idealistic goals which satisfies the soul and not the ego, and also the need for pragmatic countable goals to act as signals. i decided that 2nd upper class honours, a podium finish in mens open and climbing a 8B+ will act as reasonable signals.

once i've set my mind, the body has to follow. a quote i like, from a sick-ass strong, earnest and down-to-earth climber.


i wrote down my climbing achievements on a piece of paper and then considered tearing that piece of paper up. climbing should not be about achievements, it should be about exploration and experience. too bad my potential employers (real estate companies), think otherwise. i kept that piece of paper after all.

some food for thought

faced this little conundrum and decided to raise the problem here for discussion and if you like, debate. the entire point of this post is not to berate or to chide. the entire point of this post is to arouse questions. to get the reader to think and to reflect. in the words of Socrates, 'the unexamined life is not worth living'. i shall use my own life as a case study.

ok so this is the issue. on one hand, people can come and 'like' my facebook note (letter to a christian girlfriend), meaning they support my writing and support some, if not all, of the notions put forth in the note. i think i can safely assume that these people disagree with the decision to break up over what they perceive as religious bigotry. these people have also come forward to comfort me and say that they support me.

yet on the other hand, these same people can go and comfort her. i have qualms about disagreeing with her yet being able to comfort her. they banter with her as usual on facebook and during BA10 as if everything is normal. can it be said that these people are in fact pandering to both sides? if yes, how can they do so without feeling at least a little prick on their conscience? the more i contemplate such actions, the more i become wary. who are those really concerned for me? who are the people i can really count on?

i discussed this with a friend, and his opinion is that it will be absolutely childish if someone agrees she did wrong and then proceed to ignore her completely for that. after all, it was something personal that happened between two people, and such people are in no capacity to criticize or lecture her. in short, they shouldn't end their friendship with her over this reason. however, he says that the actions of coming to comfort me, and then going to comfort her, are leaning towards hypocrisy. and this is spine-chilling.

what do you, the reader, think?


it is easier to believe than it is to think

so tell me what makes a man

saw her fell badly just now during the competition. i froze. what should i do? to rush forward and help or to remain rooted where i stood? i promised myself to treat her as though she is invisible. i promised myself to not shed another tear again. i promised myself to always protect my heart first. one by one, these promises turned to naught.

where she landed and collapsed, she started crying. people carried her over to nearby where i was standing.

instinctively, i bent over to help her. i took off her shoes for her. i did it as tenderly as my shaking hands possibly could. when my hand touched her feet, a weird squirmish sensation wormed around my heart. why am i helping her when i promised myself to forget her existence? why am i helping someone who hurt me so deeply?

after everything settled down, i went away to a corner to cry. my promises to myself.. in broken pieces..

what's the point of getting 5th for open men if there is no one to share the joy with?

i dont understand how there can still be laughter in this world.
全世界 好象只有我疲惫

a tribute to all my well wishers

living in j.k. rowling's shoes

over the past 2 weeks, i had a little taste of what being a writer feels like. received fan mail and hate mail alike. had people from as far as malaysia and australia writing to me to tell me that they appreciate my writing and that they support me entirely and telling me to move on. had people coming to chide my rather rude choice at putting the note up on a public forum. i guess there's no pleasing everyone. but one thing i do know, and that is there is more to life than mopping over a failed relationship. listening to emo songs every night before bed may be mentally and physiologically unhealthy, but it does help ease the pain a little. i sincerely thank everyone who helped put healing salve on the gaping wound.

am reading quite deeply into the subject now. trying to see both sides of the coin (Christianity and Atheism), but i was reminded by a friend that there are in fact, several sides to the coin. indeed, how do people of 2 faiths decide which faith is more true? since the start of time, top brains from the respective fields of theoretical physics, theology, biology, philosophy, etc have broached the topic, and there is little consensus. my thoughts and arguments pale in comparison to those of these intellectual giants. am i supposed to ride on their tailcoats, or am i supposed to find the answers myself? when you look hard enough, you'll find stories of staunch atheists converting to deism, and staunch Christians convert to atheism/Buddhism/etc.. the list is endless.

a personal milestone

on another note, i achieved my new year's resolution! i aimed to qualify for a mens open finals. and i did better than just that, i got 5th for the first comp of the year! am really proud of myself. can safely say i'm contented for now.. but not satisfied. there is no rest for the weary. guess this is my Achilles heel. am satisfied but still hunger for more.

am a little disappointed though that the 5th placing in novice men got a prize, whereas a similar 5th placing in open men warranted none. also, open men are barred from the team events of gravical and boulderactive. by these actions, what are the organisers trying to tell open men? i'll leave you to draw your own conclusions. are the open men and women not supposed to be the highlight of the competition?

my greatest regret

i remember when i was a novice man and went to watch my first ever mens open competition. i watched starry-eyed at all my idols cranking hard, from latching onto sick dynos to locking off on monos. their feats of strength defied imagination. since then, i've aspired to train to reach their level and compete on an equal standing with them. as their peers. it would be the highest honour to compete by their side. now that i've fought my way up to that level, the greatest irony is that all the old guards are one by one retiring from the competition scene.. one wave pushes the next.. one day in the not too distant future.. i'll become an old guard too. was the journey a fruitful one?


天灰灰 会不会 让我忘了你是谁