goal setting and its intracacies

i remember somewhere earlier in this blog, i wrote that by the end of university, i want to be able to climb a 8B+ and that i want to qualify for a open mens finals. i easily achieved the latter whereas had little chance to explore the former.

i've given the issue of goal setting much thought. initially, after setting quantifiable goals, e.g. qualifying for mens open finals, and achieving these goals, i feel a sense of contentment. but that feeling is short-term. a short while after, i tell myself to not rest on my laurels and then continue to push on for more. on hindsight, this constant search for better and better results can be both inspiring and yet a little detrimental at the same time. at what point will i know when is enough?

i spoke with a mentor, and she told me that self challenge must be balanced with a deep sense of self-love and appreciation. always wanting more forms the very fabric of my nature - i've been this way since young. i want more not out of greediness, but because i want to discover my boundaries. i want to know what i am capable of. the mentor told me that striving to be better is good, but whether it is done with a healthy perspective of self is another issue altogether. it is not healthy to forever be in a state of want, perceiving the self as not whole yet. she says that we first need to see ourselves as whole and complete, but yet ever evolve towards deeper abilities. this invaluable piece of insight really pressed all the right buttons.

i was told to explore the reasons for wanting to constantly up my limits. upon much reflection, i decided on three reasons. one, i revel in the mastery of my body and enjoy the process of watching myself grow mentally. i love seeing what my body can accomplish under stress, and i feel this process forms an important part of my journey of self discovery. second, i want to inspire those who have walked or are walking the same path as me, that it is not impossible for a [stop climbing for 6 months to study for A levels, stop climbing for 2 years for NS, thereafter balance the hectic requirements of university] person to do reasonably well for both climbing and studies. three, i believe that it is only possible to derive the most fun out of climbing when you are climbing at your hardest. as such, these three overarching goals will form the bedrock of my reasons for climbing hard.

however, again i find problems with such a method of goal setting - a lack of signals. there is a lack of quantifiable benchmarks against which you can measure your achievements and decide whether they satisfied the goals. for example, what constitutes doing reasonably well for climbing? and for the matter, studies? this brings us back a full circle. the need for overarching idealistic goals which satisfies the soul and not the ego, and also the need for pragmatic countable goals to act as signals. i decided that 2nd upper class honours, a podium finish in mens open and climbing a 8B+ will act as reasonable signals.

once i've set my mind, the body has to follow. a quote i like, from a sick-ass strong, earnest and down-to-earth climber.


i wrote down my climbing achievements on a piece of paper and then considered tearing that piece of paper up. climbing should not be about achievements, it should be about exploration and experience. too bad my potential employers (real estate companies), think otherwise. i kept that piece of paper after all.