Baking Experiment

Ok so I'm a sucker for cheesecakes. But the occasional indulgences are burning a hole in my pocket. Then I found out the great secret.. It's so much more economical to make one myself! Ok I guess that ain't much of a secret.

The ingredients

I decided to upload these pictures here, as opposed to facebook, because honestly, I think it's embarrassing. Really. The chauvinist inside me vehemently insists that the toiling over the stove is the domain of womenhood. The romantic inside me argues that men make awesome chefs too. So it was with the most conflicted of feelings that I embarked on this little adventure.

My experiment yielded mixed results. The cookie base was a little too hard, the cheese filing was a little too firm (opps over enthusiastic with the gelatin). 

Thankfully there was a saving grace.. The peaches were yummy-licious perfect! Tangerine sweet goodness packed within a chewy crunchy exterior.. It succeeded where all else failed! 

The final product!

Ehh wait Jansen. The peaches were through no effort of your own. All you did was to open the fruit can and slop the peaches down ._.

Next time will be better! In the meantime, I better prepare my stomach for this handiwork..

A Proud Moment in NUS (Academia)

There are many a happy moment when one feels an intense sense of self satisfaction. Sometimes it flows like a cascading waterfall, filling up every void in the soul. Other times, it ignites like a roaring inferno, lighting up every corner in the heart. Rockclimbing wise, my proudest moment would be sending Asian Shadow Play in Krabi, Thailand. I recall being so intimidated by the route initially and even gave up after only a few attempts because I couldn't bear the pain. And crimps were supposed to be my forte! When I clipped the chains, it wasn't wild exuberance or crazy celebrations, it was quiet relief. I could finally move on.

The purpose of this post however, is not to talk rockclimbing. As much as I love the sport, I want to explore other facets of life. It would be my greatest regret if 30 years down the road, I find myself living the sad existence of a one-dimensional man. Here, I want to talk about my proudest moments academia wise. Singaporean climbers mostly don't like to talk about studies. The general sentiment is that good climbing grades and good studying grades are mutually exclusive. The belief is not unwarranted, given how most of our strongest climbers aren't academically inclined. Win some, lose some.. I guess.

Out of the Boiling Pot and Into the Fire

Once again another semester has come to a close. The flurry of school activity is interspersed haphazardly with the rush leading up to projects submission deadlines, before finally culminating in the finals. And ohhh I've never liked examinations, for I believe they only test a myopic range of skill sets. These skill sets are often not even relevant in the working world. After having been chided on several occasions over my lack of applicable knowledge, I only know too well. I've always wondered if book smart has any direct correlation with street smart. Is it a case of either or, or can a person harness both powers? 

Shut Down but not Shut Up

Every company wants the best and the brightest. So I guess this begets the question: When is it my turn? 

Waiting for that email or sms to pop up on your screen, either sounding the death knell or the victory bell, is an intensely anxiety-inducing process. Symptoms include checking your electronic devices every few hours, eagerly awaiting the (hopefully positive) results. Something churns in your stomach - Expectations is making itself heard.

Shen Jia Yi

Yesterday, I watched a film by Jiu Ba Dao - Apple of My Eye (那些年 我們一起追的女孩). There was this scene, which I was thought was very poignant. 

同人不同命

One of my secondary school classmates ("Classmate A") made the news recently - for the wrong reasons. It was a story of love turned sour, resulting in accusations of assault against him, culminating in a full-blown criminal trial in the Hong Kong courts. The entire saga raised a huge uproar in the media. I'm not here to write a post decrying or defending his actions. The entire issue just got me thinking about where it all started.. in a school along Tanjong Rhu Road..

Post Interview Thoughts

In an earlier post, I wrote that I've landed an interview with a property fund. Actually, that statement is incorrect. To be more accurate, it's actually with the direct property division of a fund. How it works is that investors typically want real estate exposure on their portfolios. Real estate is traditionally favoured for its steady capital appreciation as well as it being a hedge against inflation. Investors can invest in real estate either directly through the purchase of brick-and-mortar developments, or indirectly through property stocks, or funds with exposure to property.

Anyways the interview with the investment management company was at one of the intimidating office blocks along Shenton Way. Despite having worked at one before (SGX Centre), I still feel mighty awed when I step into the swanky lobby of a towering block, seeing impeccably dressed people whispering in crisp undertones. To these people, I must appear so insignificant. 

I've participated in so many competitions until I no longer feel nervous even with many eyes on me. But interviews are a whole different ball game! I had butterflies in the stomach in the days leading up to the meeting. Among other things, I diligently memorized their company values, read up on the backgrounds of the key people and rehearsed the nuts and bolts of financial modelling, all done in anticipation of the questions they would potentially throw my way. It was like preparing for an exam! The only difference being this one has rather immense repercussions.

First Impressions.. Don't Change Them

I've done almost every single group project since the start of my university life with this pair of girls. Interestingly, till today they still think of me as a scrawny boy who does some rockclimbing, but cannot possibly be very good because he's so skinny. Whenever they make a dig at me, I always laugh along with them at myself in a self-deprecating manner.

You see I so small size you all still bully me! I typically reply. 

Climb On 2011

By some strange twist of fate, I somehow managed to get 3rd for Climb On 2011. Heh.

Because of my injuries, prior to the event I did very little hard bouldering. Trainings mostly consisted of chit chatting with the guys, and then it's off to dinner and more chit chatting. I went into the event thinking that I'll do at most 3 climbs and then call it a day.

My movements were a little rusty at the start of the day, which was no surprise. I was afraid the elbow would act up, but it held up the entire day! Even so, I felt I didn't perform that well. I've lost that power endurance for longer and more trying routes. I was actually packing up to leave when Jups told me that I won something =x

I think I used up all my luck for the next 2 years..

Job Hunting

Sweet! Landed an interview with a property fund! Time to prepare and ace that interview!

2 things that made my day

It was after lessons and I headed to the engine canteen to have lunch. Nothing unusual, nothing out of the ordinary. Just that lo and behold, I chanced upon superiors from my ex company! They were at NUS to give a talk. Being my usual inquisitive (some would say kay-poh) self, I plastered them with questions regarding the career path decision making process. They shared with me some personal anecdotes, including but not limited to graduating into a bear market, sending out 90 resumes but only to receive 5 replies (all from the public sector - which he resolutely did not want), staking out for any opportunities that may present themselves while hanging onto an increasingly irritable job. I gleaned so many insights from their stories. I started talking to them about my career ambitions, and my frustrations at how companies seem only to want to hire 1st class honours graduates. I jokingly said that I might end up bumming around if I cannot find a job upon graduation. To that they replied that they'll be happy to take me if I applied to them. WHOOPIE. They even said to send the application to them, and that they would personally oversee my submission. Heh. A vindication of my efforts :)

In another incident, a totally random climber told me he's a big fan of my climbing!

meandering paths to the same destination

I believe the interview process that *** went through is also relevant as you will be applying for a job soon. One reason I like the *** case is because each time I read the case, I am reminded of my own journey. Each of us have our own story about how we end up in real estate. You may view it as luck (or lack of luck), fate or destiny. This is my story....

Motivation and Mental Training

For the climbing camp, I was tasked by Jensen Seah to do a piece on my thoughts regarding how to hone one's mind during climbing competitions. While I'm happy to help him, I'm also hesitant, or even slightly reluctant, because my recent string of poor performances suggest that I'm a poor candidate for any advice giving. Let's just say that it is difficult to graduate with a good degree, to buff your resume so employers don't toss it aside at first glance, to perform consistently at competitions and to run your own investment portfolio ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I think difficult is an understatement. IMPOSSIBLE seems more appropriate. I feel like I'm burning myself at both ends of the candle. I don't get enough sleep. My body is falling apart with injuries plaguing my elbow (tendonitis) and my back (strain). I want to boulder hard but I cannot. It is so frustrating. I can't even help myself, yet I'm expected to help others. Bah.

Perhaps it will be my destiny to stretch myself out so thin in pursuit of everything, such that in the end I achieve nothing. Bah.

In the recently concluded Zenergy Bouldering Competition in KL, I ended up with last place. I'm sorely tempted to point the finger of blame at the poorly set routes, but that is just a defeatist mentality. People like to see the underdogs surmount challenges, not hear them whine about difficulties. Yet, the disadvantages of being a shorter climber (exponentially increased difficulty of span moves and jump starts) becomes apparent when ALL the qualifying routes are set to favour taller climbers. Competitions are just so arbitrary to tastes and preferences of the Chief Routesetter. I hate it!



















Route 1: Bottleneck at huge throw off slopey pinch (left hand) to latch slopey pinch (right hand). In the earlier move, I did a toe hook to off the side wall to make the subsequent match hand (currently holding with my right hand in the picture) move easier. The emcee promptly announced my beta, after which all the following competitors used a toe hook ._.



















Route 2: Bottleneck at this spot, where climbers were deceived into wasting attempts to try and hit the orange crimp on the red volume, instead of jumping straight for the two holds above. Dear Routesetter: If you want to set a dyno, please make it obvious!

Of course here I can write a nice flowery heartwarming passage about how I'll try harder, about how results are inconsequential, about how everything is fine and dandy. But seriously, the Routes 1 and 2 had a major bottleneck in each. Regardless of ability, all the climbers fell at the same place. The decider was in Route 3. Route 3 involved a jump-start, after which it was a cruise to the top. In the end, taller climbers (who could do the jump-start) were racing to finish the problem, because the route was so easy that the judges differentiated using time. How lame! For (shorter) climbers who couldn't get the jump start, it was an immensely frustrating experience to jump over 20 times off a designated foot hold to grab a hold you can easily latch jumping from the ground.

Also, for the competition they counted using total number of attempts, instead of least attempts to the highest hold. Like WTF?



















Route 3: Lame compulsory jump start off a designated foothold to the right. It is actually much easier to catch the hold by jumping directly off the ground. In fact, I can even do it blind-folded. After that brown volume it was a cruise to the top. Lame will a capital L.

Jump starts simply aren't a fair test of climbing ability, since it is about as fair as getting a 1.6m NBA player to out slam-dunk a 2.2m one. How about I be Chief Routesetter and set awkward sit starts and cramp moves off micro crimps? Then we can have the taller climbers making over 20 attempts trying to get their ass off the ground. Bah.

Reached back SG at 0500. Lecture from 1100-1300. Project meeting from 1300-1545. Rush down from Clementi to Farrer Park. Climbing coaching from 1700-1900. I'm drowning. Arrowed by Professor to host a meet-the-industry-veteran session this Thursday. Some chairman from some big consultancy is coming down. Need to ensure the event proceeds smoothly. Stress. This begs the question, is what I'm doing worth it? Do so much, for what? Is there someone I can share my trials and tribulations, my frustrations and my joys, with? Bah*.

Anyways, the piece I wrote for Jensen is attached below, for your reading pleasure (or displeasure - some people don't like reading. If so, then what are you doing here?)

Hi friends,

I was approached to share some of my experiences regarding climbing. More specifically, I was tasked to the topic of mental skills training. I’m honoured that Jensen sought my opinion, yet at the same time I’m apprehensive because I feel I’m not the best go-to person regarding this topic. After all, my competition performance is erratic at best, downright crappy at worst.

I’ve been climbing and competing for close to 8 years now, so to ask me to distil those experiences into a 5 minute sharing session is a tall order. But because Jensen is such a committed coach, I’ll indulge him. But I find that I must first talk about motivation before performance. To do otherwise is the equivalent of putting the cart before the horse. Everything boils down to your motivations – that is the essence of not just climbing, but whatever endeavour you choose to pursue. The second point about mental skills training, which by extension is performance, will then tie in the first.

I believe that motivation has to be intrinsic. Nobody can shove a motivation pill down your throat to grant you drive, or zealousness. You’ll find that extrinsic motivation fizzles out after a while. First and foremost, you must want to do well. In that same vein, you must despise mediocrity. You must be slightly obsessed. In your pursuit of excellence, you must leave behind those who will only hold you back.

Here I must deviate slightly to make an observation. Why else would Ueli Steck want to climb the Eiger North Face faster than anyone else? Honestly, if he were a sensitive/thoughtful man, would he really choose to make a statement on that climb which so many before him have given their lives for? Call it whatever you want. You can say he wanted to push his limits. You can say he wanted to prove to others that the impossible may well be possible. Yet, the fact remains that the base emotion driving his ambition was greed. He wanted more. He wanted perfection. Yet, out of that selfishness bloomed something beautiful. He inspired a generation of alpinists to train hard, to become greater than he. The cycle repeats. Interestingly, Ueli also chose to solo instead of doing it with a partner, hinting that perhaps a partner who doesn’t fit like a jigsaw will probably only slow you down.

Ok so now we assume that you’ve made up your mind to do well. However, there is a catch. You cannot go to competitions thinking you want to win. You cannot go to a project letting the desires of wanting to send it consume you. If you let your expectations get the better of you, you’ll find that instead of it being a force for good, you become affected in a negative sort of way. Your movements become muddled. Your mind is cluttered with non-crucial thoughts. Inevitably, your performance suffers. The key is to focus on the task at hand, and the results will follow. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way. Yet, even though I learned this lesson from climbing, I’ve failed to apply it to other aspects of my life. Thankfully, I had a friend remind me that I should be focusing on my education now, instead of worrying about my career in future.

In conclusion, climbing is a whole journey of reflection, contemplation and self discovery. At least this is the case for me. Good luck on your own adventure, and remember, there are many different paths to your destination. So pick one, it may be short and direct, or long and windy, but I’m sure that at the end of the day, you’ll have a story to tell too.

*I used Bah 4 times in this post. No I'm not bitter and I don't need counseling. I just need to stop using Bah.

Another Industry Veteran Sharing Session

Post 1: Developing good EQ - it's time to work on it!

EQ or Emotional Intelligence can be briefly described one’s self awareness, self management, social awareness and relationship management.

Ms Chen have shared with us that a person with a good EQ is as important as a person who is good with number crunching. She has also mentioned that in today’s real estate scene, one must possess a good EQ to get things done and to advance within the organization. Since one’s EQ is closely linked to one’s personality, Ms Chen shared with us how the Mapletree Asset team had to let off an intern because of her bad personality exhibited during the internship stint despite displaying excellent academic grades.

Last but not least, she added that one has to maintain a positive attitude, be honest and accountable for our actions and not to do things within the organization for personal agenda as such actions will surface over time.

Post 2: Finding the Right Path

I went prepared for the UC&P session with an important question in mind. I wanted to find out what were the motivations behind Ms Chen’s first job application. I was hoping to tap on the words of wisdom of a successful real estate practitioner who has gone through what i am about to go through in less than a year’s time.

During the self-introduction, we were asked to talk about our future job aspirations. To which, i responded in all honesty that i am rather clueless. Then came the reply. Quoting Ms Chen, “Do some soul-searching, find out what you are suited for… and take a long term outlook.”

At that moment, the answer to my question was given, but in the form of another question – ironically directed at myself.

Later on, Ms Chen candidly shared with us her own career path, which in her own words, was rather ‘unplanned’. That, in a quirk manner, felt like a form of encouragement to me.

To my peers, i believe soon-to-be fresh grads like us are mostly anxious when mulling over our future careers – in hope of finding the ‘best’ path. While it is important to have a strategic vision for our career plans, we should also do some honest soul-searching.

What’s right for one person may not be right for another. There are many paths to success; i guess we just need to take some time to find the right one that suits us.

Post 3: The Paradox of Choice

With so many possibilities in our career paths, it really is difficult to pinpoint what is the ‘perfect’ job to pursue when we graduate.

Miss Chen shared with us how she didn’t plan which sector or job she wanted upon her graduation. She travelled for some time before coming back to Singapore, and yet she secured a job faster than most of her peers. (Moral of the story: go travel!)

Of course, perhaps it was slightly easier those days as there were relatively lesser choices compared to our current job environment. From the days of the brick and mortar, the dynamism of the real estate industry has evolved and become more integrated with the capital markets. Hence, there are many opportunities for us to apply our knowledge in the wide spectrum of the real estate process.

Finding out what drives you is a great way to make a good career choice. Although for Miss Chen, who mentioned that her career track was relatively ‘unplanned’, she’s driven because her bosses give her the flexibility to complete her tasks. She also values teamwork as she looks forward to working with her colleagues.

This made me reflect upon many of my group projects done in NUS. I’m sure some of you will identify with me on this, as some of your team members enjoy discussions, and some just prefer to ‘get things done quickly’. Whichever the mindset, I believe teamwork is an essential part of our real estate career in future.

Realistically, I’m sure all of us are concerned about our pay when we graduate. Good paying jobs are out there, but usually at the expense of time and work-life balance. When you start to dread going to work, that might be a good sign that you may value your social life and work-life balance more than the money! :)

Work Life Balance?

Sow a thought, reap an action;
Sow an action, reap a habit;
Sow a habit; reap a character;
Sow a character; reap a destiny
-Professor Ooi

My faculty had a meet-the-practitioner talk recently. The deputy GM of Keppel Land came down for a sharing session with the students. After the session, students are encouraged to participate in a discussion forum and contribute their reflections.

I extracted two of the posts which I thought was particularly poignant. Read the following, and draw your own conclusions.

Post 1

During today's session, Mr Low shared with us about working towards your long-term career goal. Many of us have a dream job in mind but this job, whatever it may be, does not avail itself to us overnight. Some of us may wish to work for instance, as a portfolio manager or acquisition analyst but for such roles, companies may only hire professionals with experience and not fresh graduates. As these roles require specific skill sets and experience, a fresh graduate interested in these areas should gain experience in jobs that prepare him/her for that particular “dream job”. It would be useful to browse through classified advertisements and get a feel of the work experience and soft skills required for that particular “dream job”, and take up jobs that help prepare us for this long-term career goal.

Post 2

Hi all,

After attending this session, it convinces me even more that there will be no more work-life balance when we step into the working world, in order to have a successful career.

On one hand, one will be working so hard in the day, crunch figures late into the night (like doing projects in uni).

On the other, on your free days (should you even have any) you will be so busy trying to value-add yourself, attending courses (MBA, CFA etc.)

Where is the time left for family and friends?

Just to share, while I was interning at Far East Organisation in Property Sales, I guess our group of NUS interns are the only interns who possibly work 7 days a week, 830am to sometimes 12midnight during launches. I myself worked consecutive 15 days at one point, on weekdays its 930am to 830pm, on weekends 830am to 1130pm sometimes later.

What was supposedly my off day my clients actually called me saying they want to view the showflat, and you have to make your trip down because they are the potential customers who will purchase a unit from you. And since you are already at the showflat, you might as well make your time worth by serving more walk-in customers to increase your chances of closing a deal. Fortunately, when our boss see us working so hard he appreciate the fact that we are young and driven as well.

还是听妈妈的话吧 晚点再恋爱吧

Previously he was the geek who founded the Society of Gravitational Studies, but after he had his love spurned by the woman he loved, he turned into a Tonsai Playboy. Like the story of Beauty and the Beast, he thought he had found his Riesenbaby.

Deluded into thinking that he was moving up her Boobtube and Jumping for (her) Jugs, it turned out that she was a Tiger Queen, Baby Gorilla, Elephant and Lion King all rolled into one. That she possessed the blackest of all hearts, a Jai Dum, was hidden from him. By Way of Deception, she was toying with him like a puppet in Asia Shadow Play. No matter if he was the alpha male, the Cara Congreso, her Greed was greater than his Sex Power.

Now a broken man, he can only sit by Cafe Andaman, and look back on old days with Reminiscence. True, he No Have love, and was Cross-Eyed with delirium, but there is no point in throwing a Tantrum. Awash with sorrow, he was engulfed in a Tidal Wave of hurt. April's Fool, the joke is on him.

Sigh.

Love and all her vagaries. Watch as everything crumbles. Escape by acting Blind, Deaf and Dumb. Alas, love is but only merely Arts and Sport.



I set out to write a heartwarming, lovey-dovey story about climbing. How it ended up this way, I don't know. I can only grasp at straws.

Did your pretty face see what he's worth?

Too bad that you couldn't see
See the man that boy could be
There is more than meets the eye
I see the soul that is inside
- Sk8er Boi (2002, Avril Lavigne)

A professor whom I highly respect recounted some stories with the class. He told us about his meandering past and the lessons he learned along the way. Among the many tales, a particular one struck a chord within me. In fact, it rang out with a resounding GONG. It was a story of substance versus style - an issue I'm struggling with.

An experiment was conducted on one of his classes. Wearing singlet, shorts and slippers, he pushed a rickety trolley into class. On the teetering trolley was a plain looking cake, unadorned and unfancied. Lets refer to it as Cake A. Unbeknownst to the students, Cake A was actually baked by the most highly regarded chef in the culinary establishment. In his sloppy attire, the professor walked up the aisles, offering a piece of Cake A to the students. They all politely declined.

He left. He returned shortly after, this time dressed smartly in a crisp attire. Accompanying him were several pretty female waitresses, in charge of pushing the shiny trolley in. This time, the cake was done up differently. Lets refer to it as Cake B. Cake B was displayed prominently as the centrepiece of the gleaming trolley. The package containing Cake B was left casually beside, as if chucked there carelessly. But ah hah, upon closer inspection you notice that it was actually surreptitiously positioned in such a way that the brand of the avant garde cake shop was obvious for all to see. The freshest strawberries were arranged aesthetically across the top, with fine frost icing sprinkled evenly across. Luxurious porcelain plates with the finest stainless-steel wrought cutlery were provided. The waitresses sashayed up the aisles to offer a slice, and this time, nobody refused.

Grinning themselves silly, the students bit into the succulent piece of morsel laid out in front of their eyes. They greedily chomped into it. PUI! They spat the debris out. It tasted of stale eggs and low grade flour! The cream was acrid and bitter, as if whipped out of the sweat and stank scrapped off the walls of ancient dungeons. The stringy yellow patterns swirling across the sides now looked suspiciously like someone's spit. The juicy-looking strawberries were actually choke full of pungent preservatives. The icing sugar that previously looked so inviting turned out to be sickeningly sweet. To add insult to injury, the make up on the waitresses started to cake off (pardon the pun), revealing the flaws they painstakingly tried to hide, strangely reminiscent of the way preservatives were utilized to deceive the students into thinking the rotten strawberries fresh! Your desires are elevated up to the highest pinnacle, but there is no fulfillment. You're left high and dry!

The professor was grinning too. He was indulging in a slice of Cake A: the cake nobody fancied. When cut opened, the aroma of freshest fruits wafted across the air. Sure the outside looked boring and mundane, but inside yielded a hypnotic concoction of the most extravagant ingredients, sourced from the most exotic corners of the world. Upon sinking your teeth in, your taste buds explode in exaltation. With each bite springs forth more delights, as if the symphony of musical flavours dancing across the caverns of your mouth. You can taste a hint of literature, you can revel in a dash of poetry; you understand arcane history, you appreciate current affairs; you are held spellbound by pristine geography, you are thoroughly astounded by financial wizardry. The intellectual leanings gleaned from your books has freed you from the flippant pursuits of the material world. You are satiated! What a balanced flavour! The whole experience is all too gratifying. You had stuck to your choice of a rough, unembellished stone and after some polishing, is eventually rewarded with a rare, sparkling gem. Pitiable that this concept continues to elude some people.

To the question of whether style or substance, I think I've already found the answer in an earlier blog post.. "..forceful reasoning on its own is insufficient. Only when weaved together with tactful persuasion, then can it create lasting impact." Those who fall prey to the glittery, illusionary world of style and style only, probably aren't worth your time anyway.

Round 5.. FIGHT!

Only after scanning through my previous entries, did I realise that I've been to Krabi 5 times now. Can be considered a veteran already? I started writing a generic entry, detailing accomplishments and experiences, in much the same way as done previously. After some consideration I scrapped that writing style. All too often I've looked inside myself for the answers. Perhaps part of that truth lies concealed in the experiences of others as well. To my friends, I salute you and humbly submit this post in honour of the lessons you've taught me.

To Mr Lwee Jia Wei
You are not called the 'psyche monster' for nothing. You have a precious gift, one to stir, to influence. You inspire while aspiring, rousing others around you to climb harder. Your boyish enthusiasm at jumping on routes several levels above your current ability, screaming your way up the problem, brings back fond memories of myself some years back. May your self belief never waver. And don't stop looking for that one hardest move.

















To Mr Aaron Ng
I've walked a little bit of the way with you on your journey of Tantrum. To say the route is tough is an understatement. I know, I've tried. I've watched you get repeatedly shut down by the route, despite your best efforts. Yet, you share beta without hesitation with new aspirants. You've engram-ed the moves so perfectly that your redpoint attempts have become mesmerizing to watch. A maelstrom of speed and precision. I really wish for you to send that route soon. Surpass the negativity of anxiety, frustrations, exasperation, depression. You are greater than that.

To Mr Winfred Goh
When you finished ASP first, I was so happy for you. I could feel your elation, I could sense your relief. I know, I trekked there with you everyday, belaying you on your attempts, watching you painstakingly work out the beta. We got shut out by the weather, by the rising tides, by diminishing supply of fingertip skin. But you've already made up your mind. The route must go. And the body will follow. The obsession has sunk in and pressure was mounting. You can even easily recall the number of moves - 23 hand and 35 feet movements. Following your successful send, I somehow managed to clip the chains too. You thoughtfully lowered me unhurriedly to the ground, as if letting me soak up that intoxicating sweetness. You extended your hand with a firm handshake, I took it up and returned it with heartfelt gratitude. Task accomplished. Between 2 men on a mission, nothing more needs to be said.















To Mr Hwa Soong Yi
11 routes over 2 days was only possible because of you. The second day was especially trying, what with five 30m grade 7 routes. That adds up to about 150m of hard climbing! Your willingness to trek to the toughest crags, to belay off dodgy ledges, to free solo routes with insanely high first bolts, to exploit cheeky hands-free positions, is nothing short of amazing. There was something in the Captain America movie about waiting for the right partner. I'm lucky you came along (on crutches hobbling down the beach no less) But no backside poking please. I went up GillesNoLimits on Cat Wall, expelling old demons in the process. Previously I was so intimidated by the route. But this time, with your encouragement, I've surpassed that irrational fear. Bro, hard multi-pitches next?

*The author is not as talented as his friends. Since he cannot crank down hard like they can, he resigns to being a scribe, writing down their remarkable stories, for all to read.

The Intelligent Climber

Senior Associate Director (SAD) Intern Ko ended his internship last Friday and with that, a heavy load was lifted off his shoulders.

He has seen much, heard a lot and learned plenty. A friend posted the question as to whether Intern Ko loved his internship. The question was posited in a smirking sort of way, as if from high horse, deriding those poor servitiles who lack courage and unquestioning conviction (or passion) to do whatever 'makes them happy'. Perhaps the questioner was half expecting Intern Ko to supply him a pained 'I hate my life and I would rather be climbing' answer.

Closing his eyes, he gave the question some thought. When the knot around his forehead eased and the eyelids unfastened themselves, the answer was clear. "I don't love my job, but I like it. It provides me with opportunities to learn, to become a contributing member of that industry. Nobody else would bother to teach me otherwise."

All those resumes Intern Ko sent out writing about how he has no prior experience but is humble and willing to learn, that he is willing to put in those extra hours if necessary, blah blah? He laughs at himself now. What naivety. The sad truth is that no company is willing to take in someone without experience and train him up from scratch. Employers want their recruits to be able to hit the ground running. Intern Ko has little prior experience. Neither does he have any strings to pull. Even if the latter option was available to him, he would detest to exercise it, for he thinks himself a principled man.

Intern Ko is inquisitive. He went around asking his colleagues whether they liked their jobs. He received a plethora of replies, ranging from the "Sheesh I can't wait for the day to end" to the "I want to climb the ladder quickly" responses. Of these replies, one was particularly memorable. In fact, it was more than that. It was epic, mind-numbing and enlightening. It certainly taught him a thing or two about life. The grizzled, battle-hardened veteran (construction industry) of some 20 years replied, "This is my job. There is no like or don't like. I've got 2 young children to feed".

Intern Ko finds it funny that some people think passion is about adorning it proudly on their chests and shouting about it. It is immensely amusing how it has recently become fashionable for passion to take center-stage and for sustainability to be shuttled to the back. Should it turn out that a majority of people concur that the frivolous and idealistic pursuit of passion is the proper way to go about doing things, then he must agree to disagree. He thinks that passion is not about recklessly throwing oneself into any endeavour without having done due diligence first. Passion is to be suffered for.

Intern Ko wonders if you have read the news recently. Did the news of an ex top Chinese gymnast forced to theft/buskering on the streets to earn a living, because he was unceremoniously dropped from the national team when he injured his tendon, shock you? Will the study revealing that ex top athletes being forced to meager existences following their illustrious careers, because their art has little transferability to the real world, scare you? He provides the example of an Olympic decathlon gold medallist, who could only find employment as a postman following his no-doubt remarkable career. There have also been reports of some even resorting to selling prized medals to eke out the green stuff when the going gets tough. Closer to home, superstar P's day job is an environmental officer - he checks train hygiene for a living. Intern Ko is not trying to pour frigid, dampening water on the blazing, indomitable dreams of his peers. But he urges them to exercise caution. Live the dream, but beware the consequences.

Intern Ko had a class gathering recently. At 24 years of age, some of his friends are growing up into fine young men. Already now the differences are becoming apparent. Some are scholarship holders, some started their own businesses, some already have the ability to provide for themselves. He may find it easy to holler about his passion now, but what about in 20 years' time? Imagine then, he sees his friends holding down successful careers, with happy, wholesome families. Will he still dare sit in that circle with other established businessmen/professionals, having nothing to his name yet still have that same school-boy conviction to preach about having fun at the expense of all else?

He doesn't know.


P.S. The title is taken after that of a book by Benjamin Graham, "The Intelligent Investor", which (Ex) Intern Ko is particularly fond of. A counsel of soundness, a recommendation of conservativeness, advice to employ judgement. And heh. They say imitation is the best form of flattery.

說好的幸福呢?

怎麽了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了

Cynicism

Step 1: Understanding

Working in an office, while conceived to be a dull and dreary activity by some, has interesting moments. More precisely, there are moments of revelation where you go, "Ahhh.. Now I see.."

I've had the privilege of observing, albeit from afar, an assortment of sales teams. They (in their various capacities with the investment, commercial, residential and industrial segments) work tirelessly to close deals.

The world of closing deals is a zero sum game. I win or you lose. There is no grey area. There is only have or have-not, has or has-been. I've watched a colleague working hard to close a deal (sale of a commercial property) for close to 2 years, only to have it snatched from him right under his nose. Needless to say, he was in a foul mood the entire morning. Eyes flashing and the veins at his temples pulsing, he looked ready to snap at the slightest provocation. I could sense his stormy aura a mile away. But by afternoon, he's already licked his wounds and gearing up for the next big deal.

Job Title: Competitive Competition Competitor

Perhaps no one can express the exasperation, frustration and angst better than Jon, second placed competitor for the Azimuth Hang Challenge. "6 hours of torture and nothing to show for it". This gutsy dude had the verve to bite the tile in a desperate bid to not let go. He wanted to win that badly. Dear Sir, I salute your audacity. For what it's worth, I would also like to say, "Try harder next time". But I know that he, like me, has little use for petty words of consolation. That we do not say such things to each other is a testament to our friendship.

It's so obvious to see. Typically they plod along as they walk, but when they seal the deal, they prance about with a little skip in their steps. Before is a customary stiff disposition and a stern countenance, after yields a distinguishable swagger and an uncharacteristic grin. They issue press releases about it (the adult version of bragging).

The one conclusion that I've drawn from my observations, is that the 'It's okay to fail. It's not about the results, it's all about the process/journey' is a lie told by teachers to school children. In the business world, there is no such moddle-coddlying. Companies have to answer to their shareholders, and this necessarily makes them profit-driven. There is little room for error. To put it harshly, 'it's the journey, not the result' may well just be a convenient front the failures seek refuge behind.

Shouldn't there be some reward for effort?

Some tangible form of reward for those people who toil, sweat and slave? When I voiced my idealism to a senior in the company, he replied curtly, "This is a result-oriented society. Deal with it." In the world of sales, it's all about the results. I wonder why - what with commissions and promotions tied to it. What value-add do you bring to the company? Get revenue or get out.

It's a harsh world. Grow up Jansen.


若是英雄 怎麼能　不懂寂寞 If you claim to be a hero, how can you not understand loneliness?
- Lin Jun Jie (曹操) (Cao Cao)

To Touch a Stranger

Sometimes, I wonder if my demeanour is optimal for someone who is supposed to be a somewhat of a spokesperson for ClimbAsia. I wonder if someone more expressive will be more suitable. I just feel compelled to clarify any potential skeletons in the closet, in much the same way an inquisitive child asks his mother why the sky is blue or why the girls are pretty.

Lets start with my ideal of a perfect sponsored athlete. He is a person with boyish good looks, an outgoing and bubbly personality, the person who sends when everyone else falls. He would be the perfect ambassador, with soft skills to make fans swoon and hard skills to make rocks crumble. Unfortunately, in all of the above criteria, I fall short. Some people think me stodgy. Some people think me to be aloof, or even go as far as to call me arrogant, because of my reluctance to partake in what I perceive as mindless chatter. And I certainly take a whipper just like any other climber on a hard route. Others think me to be boring, otherwise why else would he choose to intern away his holidays when he can go for long climbing trips?

You see.. My time is limited, so when I get down to the gym, it's all about training. I want to improve so badly I drive myself crazy thinking about it. Not stopping to exchange pleasantries, while no doubt objectionable, is just one of my adaptations. I make no apologies for it.

You see.. I am perfectly capable of small talk. In fact, the aunties at the office love me for it. I can small talk till the cows come home, but I have better things to do with my time. My nature to be more serious, to think before I speak, is shaped by my upbringing. And I make no apologies for it.

Despite my strong-headedness, I question myself all the time. My motivations, the basis for my actions.. are they sound? Is my stoicism, my persistence in being who I am, turning some people off? Which is why I'm so gratified that two Sundays ago, a totally random stranger bumped into me, and commended me for my (sic) 'amazing climbing'. The following conversation transpired..

Me: Sees Stranger and mustered a pleasant smile
Stranger: I saw you climbing (at the high wall) earlier.. Your climbing is amazing!
Me: Erm.. Thanks! (wide smile)(in a small voice)(heart set a flutter)
Stranger: You're Jansen right?
Me: Yeah..
Stranger: I saw your dyno at BoulderActive, it was damn good!
Me: Heh..
*he continued to ask me about climbing and performance, climbing injuries and how to deal with them, to which I answered to the best of my ability. After all, how can you not take to someone who has just sent you to the highest heaven?

Some random person outside my social circle coming up to personally tell me he appreciates my climbing. Talk about being inspired. Now, I'm even more resolved to stick with what has become a defining part of what makes me, me - unassuming, nonchalant yet fiercely determined.

ClimbAsia Athlete Duty - Introductory Interview

We know how important it is to keep your cool during climbing. Hesitation or agitation will distract you from executing a move perfectly. Trying to rush changing feet is another method of inviting failure. For those of you who know Jansen Ko personally and have seen him climb, you would know this brainy and cool climber is the epitome of control and decisiveness. This week, Rock Jock finds out from our new Team Climb Asia athlete Jansen what makes him tick and how we can become the Zen master that he is.


GT2: Hello Great Zen Master Jansen! A big welcome to Team Climb Asia! Care to share with us a little bit about yourself?

Jansen: I wear different hats: a child to my parents, a brother to my siblings, a student to my teachers, a coach to my students, and others. I present different bits of myself to different people, so which bit of myself would you like to know? Thought that I can finally pursue higher learning in university, but ironically education is getting in the way. Luckily, there is climbing to keep me sane.


GT2: Oh studying...less time to climb is never good! Is there anything interesting about yourself that doesn’t involve climbing! Climbers can be such boring people cos all they do is climb and talk and dream about climbing.

Jansen: I’m quite the foodie, especially for hawker fare. Old hawker centres have a lot of history and character. At the recommendation of friends, I will specially travel to some hidden corner of Singapore to suss out the good eats. I feel very at home jostling for a seat in a hawker centre and ordering food in Singlish. Some climbers may adhere to special diets, but I have no inhibitions towards eating local delights like Char Kuay Teow, Mee Rebus or Nasi Lemak, in moderation of course!


GT2: Our local delicacies are probably the reason why Singaporean climbers can stick to the grimiest holds in the universe. Haha! Moving on, so what is it about Climb Asia that made you agree to be our sponsored athlete? What do you hope to contribute by being in Team Climb Asia?

Jansen: A very big part behind the success of any venture is the story it tells. I love the ClimbAsia story, of 3 friends, who at the crossroads of their lives, came together to pursue a shared dream. Their efforts made that dream become reality, and provided a generation of climbers with the inspiration to climb hard. Such a heart-warming story don’t you think? I’m very honoured to have been offered this opportunity to learn and grow with Climb Asia. To fly the Climb Asia flag proudly on my back, that is how I hope to contribute!


GT2: And now for a boring question that every climber asks every other climber: What do you love about climbing and which aspect would you say is the one that most relates to you?

Jansen: Climbing is one entire package of travelling, seeing, learning, trying, understanding, growing. Having sampled a plethora of experiences across the climbing spectrum, I can say this with confidence: I love climbing for its intensity. I do climbing simply because it is difficult. At higher levels, it becomes a form of moving mediation – entering the zone and just letting your instincts take over. You learn so much about yourself that way. Having said that, I also enjoy the company of friends and winding down together after a day outdoors.


GT2: We know you as a very technical climber with composure that will put a Zen Buddhist monk to shame. What goes on in that mind of yours when it is you against the route?

Jansen: I think that composure wise, I still have quite some way to go. I do however, try to master my emotions by learning from the experiences of sportspeople not only in climbing, but in other sports as well. What separates the top climbers from everyone else, is a lack of ego. If you observe carefully, top climbers are nonchalant about their accomplishments. I’m very attracted to the humility, and I want to emulate that.But if you must really know the secret formula, the trick is look aloof and dispassionate on the outside while actually screaming inside!

When I’m on a route, all I think about is how to meld my body into the weaknesses of the rock, to flow across the movements, to persuade the route to allow one more climber to reach its crown.


GT2: Being a busy student, have there been times when you felt it was hard to maintain your high standards of climbing? What methods do you have to motivate yourself to train hard amidst the studying?

Jansen: It is certainly not easy to juggle the demands of school and climbing. Just this semester, I had 6 projects, on top of the usual workload of lectures, tutorials, assignments and presentations. But nothing great is ever achieved without hard work. Knowing that fellow human beings in third-world countries have it much worse serves as a good way to chide myself when I feel tempted to give up. Most importantly, nobody owes me a living. Carpe Diem!

Amidst all the hustle and bustle, I plan a programme for myself and stick to it. When I get down to the gym, it’s all business. Of course, during off-peak periods I like to share, talk and laugh just like everyone else.


GT2: Pumpfest is coming! Can you share with us how you are preparing for the competition?

Jansen: I’m currently doing endurance (build solid foundation) and strength training (muscle hypertrophy). Nearer the competition, I’ll switch to more power-based training (campusing, hard bouldering). I’ll also do competition specific training like bouldering intervals. Not forgetting mental training (onsighting and visualisation) too.


GT2: Any advice for the climbers who will be joining Pumpfest?

Jansen: Live the crowd, enjoy the competition.

The climber must first acknowledge that some nervousness is good. It is the body’s way of raising heartbeat and pumping adrenaline to prepare you for the tasks ahead. But too much nervousness can cripple the climber. I find that a very useful thought is to think that I’m a dancer about to take the stage - the culmination of all the effort from months before is on display. I feel very proud to be able to perform for all to see.

GT2: And we can't wait to catch you in action at Pumpfest 2011! Ladies and gentlemen, that's Team Climb Asia athlete Jansen Ko for you! Remember to head down to Millenia Walk on 4th June to watch him tear the routes apart at the Open Men qualifiers. Your cheers will be a great encouragement to him and our other athletes!

Old Pieces of Writing - Just A Statement of Fact

*Written for Edged on Oct 2010

At the recently concluded SIM Bouldering Championships, some random insight struck me, which I hope to share here.

I’ve been qualifying for Mens Open Finals for like the past 2 years now, consistently for almost every competition. Good enough to qualify, but not good enough to make the podium. Regardless, being able to qualify for the finals has become a rather uncanny ability. No matter if I had to endure the stress of projects and assignments breathing down my throat in weeks past, no matter if I did not sleep properly the night before. Slip in to the finals by a hair’s breadth I somehow manage to.

I didn’t manage to qualify for this competition.

Every competitor knows that there are good days and bad days. Your body cannot be performing at its peak all the time, so you have to periodize your training in order to hem in that optimal level for the competition season. The competitors’ holy grail – making sure your good day coincides with your competition day – is highly sought after. Inevitably, there are days where poor performance becomes an issue. Understanding this, I wasn’t too bothered on failing to make the finals.

Amusingly, when friends asked me how I did for the qualifiers, to which I replied I didn’t make the cut, almost instantaneously, some ‘console-this-dude-if-he-fails-to-qualify’ switch gets flipped on in their brains. They typically launch into a lengthy but well-meaning tirade about how I shouldn’t feel so bad; how competitions aren’t everything there is to rock climbing; how further opportunities abound, and the like. It is quite funny actually – like watching a tape put on rewind, except you didn’t press the rewind button.

Look here. When I say the (almost blasphemous, considering the reaction) words I didn’t qualify, it is simply a statement of fact. No negative emotion, unhappy feelings, suicidal tendencies, or whatsoever, is embedded within. Let me spell it out for you, the proper way to interpret the line is “You didn’t qualify. FULLSTOP”. I cannot emphasize the fullstop enough.

Some people feel a need to proclaim on social media platforms their failure in the undertaking, musing whether to quit climbing, eliciting “WHAT? NO!” responses, seeking reassurances from friends that they’re fine climbers, and revel in that fuzzy warm feeling of being wrapped tightly in that sense of security. I however, do not have such a need. I recognize that on the occasion, I failed to make the cut.

Basically, I see things for what they are. This is a competition – the best man wins. The time spent complaining or living in denial can be better put to reflection, and clinical training. If I had cried my eyes out or got all emotional for every competition I failed to make the finals (the number is quite significant given my ability, or lack thereof), you’ll be seeing a rather shriveled specimen (Jansenes Petrificus Totalis!) now.

Being objective or just being plain rude? Heh. You decide.

Old Pieces of Writing - Memoirs of a Chief Route Setter

*Written for Edged on Sept 2010

Big Shoes to Fill

Awww come on Jansen! Just one small competition and you think you’re qualified to write a ‘Memoirs of a Chief Route Setter’? You must be kidding me! At least a few more route setting jobs under your belt first before attempting to write a topic as vast as such?

One Thing Leads to Another

For those unaware, I was appointed as the Chief Route Setter (CRS) for the recently concluded ClimbNus10. Initially, I was asked to be the CRS for the carnival only. I agreed after some thought. On hindsight, my thought process must be really screwed to accept this underpaid (zero pay in fact) and overworked job. Perhaps I find it difficult to refuse a lady. Or perhaps I was itching for a challenge. Whatever the reason, I accepted the position. Lo and behold, it was the promise that sealed my fate. Soon after, the committee decided to host an invitationals over the weekend. The responsibility was trebled. 16 routes ballooned to 40. Setting for a competition is a whole different ball game from setting for a carnival. Sucked into this vortex, it was too late to pull myself free now. Take it like a man, my gung-ho friends would say. Grit your teeth and soldier on! Sometimes, I wish I could just be a wuss..

Prior to the start of the routesetting on Saturday (the event was on Sunday), I painstakingly drew out the front and side profiles of each wall, including detailing the position of each bolt hole. I begged requested for volunteers and organized them into time frames for each category. Bearing in mind the need to set 24 routes within the day, delay in the routesetting for any one category will snowball in the others. The time of volunteers who arrived punctually will be wasted, and having been a victim of this on several occasions, I endeavored to make sure this didn’t happen. Not on my watch. Reminders were sent out, checklists were put up.

The Impossible may well be Possible..

That Saturday was also the day where I almost lost my temper. A friend who has known me for a long time remarked incredulously, You? Lose your temper? That’s impossible! However, volunteers who came late, volunteers who dropped a cursory sms at the eleventh hour saying he/she could not make it and asking whether I still needed help, volunteers who took ages to put up their draft route and resisted suggestions, among others, gnawed at my patience. Am I too demanding, or do some people just need to work on their sense of responsibility?

A Happy Ending

It wasn’t all bad though. There were gems. I especially enjoyed setting with the team that put up the Open circuit. Each routesetter was experienced, efficient and brimming with ideas. We put up the routes quickly and had ample time to test each other’s routes. These efforts culminated in the visually entertaining Open event. Members of the audience have come up to tell me it was a joy to watch. It was gratifying to receive praise, because more often than not, when the routes are good nobody notices, but when the routes are just slightly off-the-mark everybody has something to say. The average layman suddenly morphs into a routesetting guru. The criticism is often harsh, in-your-face and cuts like a blade. The stress of it all hung like a dark cloud over my head.

Thankfully, routesetting-wise, the competition proceeded smoothly. The participants were filtered out nicely (with the exception of Novice Women, sorry!), the routes werent so traumatising such that majority of the competitors wanted to quit climbing after the competition, but yet were tough enough to separate the field. Nobody got injured doing crazy moves, although I suspect this is more due to excellent spotters than prudent routesetting.

Rest for the Weary

Now that the event is over, I can finally rest easy and catch up on lost sleep. Muscles aching, joints tweaky and emotionally drained, a break from all that is akin to cool water on parched lips.

Routesetting VS Competing

A peculiar question surfaced. Do I take delight in setting deviously tricky routes for the competitors to work around (as a routesetter) or do I revel in the willing my body to overcome the problems (as a competitor) more? The answer is really quite simple. At least for the time being, I’m still a competitor at heart. My place should be standing shoulder-to-shoulder alongside other competitors, not donning a routesetter cap hunched over route plans. Pitting my prowess against other athletes and gunning for victory is more my cup of tea; mulling over whether a route is set successfully can wait till my bones age. Am just glad to have looked through the lenses of both perspectives, and became less ignorant as a result.

CRS: One time only, no encore?

Old Pieces of Writing - A Spot of Investigative Journalism

*Written for Edged in July 2010

Disclaimer

From the very outset, I must make my intentions clear. My intentions are neither to smear the reputation of any organisation nor to launch into an accusatory finger-pointing tirade. It is fair however, to seek some form of accountability.

The Main Grouse

NSSCC REGISTRATION FORM (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

For NSSCC 10 which happened earlier this April, our national sportclimbing body the Singapore Mountaineering Federation (SMF), put a statement into the registration form. Stated clearly under the prizes section is a line specifying that they would be selecting the division champions to represent Singapore in the Asia Youth Cup, scheduled for July 2010 in Indonesia. In this local sports news website, the same was reported. July has come and past, but there has been no news from the SMF front.

The Boy Who Cried Wolf?

Has the competition happened but for some reason our young athletes were not sent there? Did the competition fail to materialise, and if so, why aren’t our young athletes informed? No formal reason is provided by our governing body, so it would be unwarranted to blame anyone for wildly speculating.

Unless we’re living in a society with some radically different societal norms, promises made are expected to be kept. Broken promises damage the credibility of the people (or in this case, organisation) that made it.

Here, I must emphasize that I’m not accusing SMF of lying. That would be too harsh. No matter how contrived the end result may seem, it must have originated from a well-meaning starting point. Or has it? Once again, without clarification from the relevant party, I can only speculate.

The Climber’s Voice

To provide a more balanced view of this situation, I’ve tracked down the division champions, and also a teacher-in-charge of students who have won, to hear what they have to say. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, they provided me with their perspective on the matter.

NEWSPAPER CLIP ON ST (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

Mr Kong (fake name, any resemblance to person or persons are sorely regretted), a teacher from a school here, says that “Since the competition ended in April, I’ve yet to receive any news from SMF. When approached, some officials appear to be clueless about the competition details. I’ve since told my students not to put in too hope into thinking they can go for the competition.”

Mr Hee (fake name, any resemblance to person or persons are sorely regretted), a student from a junior college here, commented “I thought that since I’ve won the competition, SMF will keep their promise and send me overseas to compete. I waited in anticipation, but the news never came.”

In this newspaper article, a secondary 4 student is described as being jubilant at winning. He says that no doubt the Asian competition will be tough, but he’s going to be prepared for it. He plans to double his current training to 4 times weekly in preparation for the challenge. How will he feel now given such a turn of events, the misgivings compounded by a conspicuous lack of open, readily-available information?

Too Difficult a Moral Choice?

Stand by waiting for someone else to voice out this glaring unfairness, or stand up and demand accountability. It’s your choice. How about a “I would like accountability in our National Sporting Association” in the comments section to show some love?

Is doing nothing as good agreeing with their actions?